


Going Places

by Katef



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 18:25:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 42,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4797701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katef/pseuds/Katef
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where Sentinels and Guides are known, but sometimes misunderstood, can a forced bond be made to work, or is it a recipe for disaster?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Going Places

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on 6th April 2012, this story has been tidied up for easier reading.

**Part 1: Life Changes.**  


**Sentinel and Guide Department Hospital, Cascade, WA:**  


Face set in an angry frown, William Ellison leaned forward in his seat in the observation room to study the languid figure lying relaxed and pliant on the softly padded platform in the adjoining room. 

Addressing the man seated beside him without withdrawing his gaze from the two-way mirror, he snapped, “You’re sure this will work, Dennison? He certainly _looks_ doped up enough, but will he cooperate when push comes to shove? I’ve paid a lot of money to set this up, and Jimmy’s counting on me, even if he doesn’t realise it!” 

Stifling the urge to lay a placating hand on the other’s shoulder, Sentinel Director Dennison was quick to respond. 

“Certainly I’m sure, Mr. Ellison! This isn’t the first time we’ve had to resort to this sort of scenario, although we would prefer that the general public didn’t become acquainted with that little snippet of information! Too many do-gooders out there for my liking, shouting for equal rights for Sentinels, Guides and _mundanes!_

“I can assure you that we have given Guide Sandburg enough ‘happy juice’ to keep him quiet during the bonding process, even though he may be somewhat unhappy in the aftermath. After all, once the bond is set, he’s stuck with it, and will be forced to accede to Sentinel Ellison’s demands.” 

“I’ll be holding you to that, Dennison!” William grunted, flicking a swift and assessing glance across at his companion before turning his attention back to the man on the platform. 

“Ellison Enterprises has always been always happy to invest where it is most profitable, and in this case, it is my son who should be on the receiving end of the expected dividend.” 

“Understood, Mr. Ellison! Understood!” Dennison murmured obsequiously, only too aware of the monetary benefits the local Department had received from that quarter, and not about to jeopardise future donations for the sake of one reluctant Guide. 

Elbows resting on his knees, William Ellison stared through the mirror – window, intent on learning every last detail about his son’s future Guide. 

The man on the platform was young, in his early 20s, but certainly not too young to carry out his intended duties. 

Although not personally concerned in terms of the Guide’s overall usefulness, William was nevertheless aware that the young man was extremely attractive, with long, dark auburn curls spreading around his head like a halo on the soft mattress, regular features and a trim and compact figure. He was a little on the short side, to be sure, but that was no reason for concern. 

Having studied the potential Guide’s file, and taken the opportunity to meet him briefly in person, William knew that the man’s eyes were large, expressive and a beautiful shade of deep blue, although right now they were closed in drug-induced torpor, dark lashes resting on pale cheeks beneath a light-weight blindfold as Sandburg drifted in a dream-world. 

Beneath a neat, tip-tilted nose, Sandburg’s mouth was undoubtedly one of the most obscenely beautiful examples William had ever seen; lush-lipped and full and at present slightly open as the young man sighed softly at something only he could see. 

Although not of that persuasion himself, William was wryly aware that his son would undoubtedly appreciate his father’s choice of companion, since the younger Ellison was openly bi-sexual, as indeed were many Sentinels. 

However, his ruminations were interrupted as the door to the other room opened and his son was virtually carried in, naked and torpid, to be deposited carefully on the edge of the platform. Once their charge was comfortably settled, his two brawny attendants made themselves scarce, knowing only too well the potential dangers of remaining in the vicinity of a primal bonding.  


\------------------------  


Barely conscious, Blair Sandburg drifted for an untold length of time in a dream-like state of delicious lassitude, awareness, such as it was, reduced to sensation alone. Languorously rubbing his cheek against the soft skin of his upper arm, he discovered that he was warm and comfortable, and was content to enjoy the sensual pleasure as he rose in tiny increments towards a more conscious state, as yet too relaxed to worry about opening his eyes as his lids still felt too heavy to lift. 

As time had no meaning in this context, it could have been minutes or hours before he reached the point of lazily but actively trying to analyse his situation, but eventually his innate curiosity came to the fore, and he began to isolate individual stimuli as they made themselves known, serenely and unhurriedly attempting to conjure up an image of where he was without going to the effort of actually opening his eyes or moving unnecessarily. 

Warmth. Yes, he was certainly very cosy, which was a luxury in itself to one who was perennially cold. It was usual for him to dress in layers of clothing which increased or decreased only slightly in number depending upon the unsettled and frequently unexpected weather that was the year-round norm for Cascade and the Pacific North West. 

Tiny air currents brushing across his skin told him that he was wearing very little clothing, so perhaps he was on vacation somewhere warm and dry? Pity he couldn’t remember where, but no matter. He was simply inclined to soak up the comfortable heat while he had the opportunity. 

Softness. Whatever he was lying on was certainly that. Wriggling slightly and slowly rolling his head from side to side told him that he was on a thickly padded yet supportive surface which seemed to shape itself voluptuously to accommodate the contours of his back, buttocks, shoulders and head, causing him to smile gently as his mind conjured up a vision of a sandy beach, with him lying on a towel-covered inflatable sun bed. However, there was a complete absence of any trace of sand or grit and his ears picked up no susurration of waves lapping against the shore, so he idly discounted that scenario in favour of drawing up something more likely. 

Hmmmmmmmmm! Now where would he be warm and comfortable enough to stretch out on his back in such an abandoned fashion? Certainly not at home in his shabby apartment, where his lumpy old sofa bed was mounded with as many covers and blankets as he could pile on it in an attempt to keep out the persistent chill. Not only that, but he habitually donned neck-to-ankle sweats to sleep in, and often thermal socks also. Likewise he invariably huddled up in a foetal position, limbs and extremities tucked in as close as possible to his torso in order to conserve body heat. 

Suddenly struck by the desire to turn over, he summoned up a modicum of energy, only to find that he was unable to move, as his arms appeared to be secured above his head in some way. A half-hearted tug with his legs told him that his ankles were also restrained, and, like his wrists, with something strong but soft to preclude any unnecessary injury. 

Suddenly beset by the first twinge of panic, he was distracted by a dipping of the padded platform, indicating that someone – or something – had sat down beside him. 

Eyes flying open at last, he was horrified to find that he couldn’t see anything, so complete was the darkness, and it was several seconds before his confused and frightened brain told him that he was wearing some kind of blindfold, albeit soft and loose enough not to cause discomfort, not that that was any consolation right then. 

When a large, warm palm cupped his cheek, Blair squeaked in shock, and, if he had had the energy, would surely have fought his bonds as hard as he could. However, lax muscles refused to respond, so he was reduced to taking panicked breaths, trying to force his clouded and fuzzy thought patterns into something more coherent. But just when he was about to succumb to the horrified notion that he was about to be hurt or even killed, his still-drugged brain helpfully supplied another scenario, which he latched on to with profound relief.... 

It was just another facet of his dream, right? A fantasy comprised of a mysterious but beautiful stranger, bent on seducing him in the most sensual way he could imagine. 

And just like that, he ceased even trying to struggle, and his breathing evened out again as the hand continued to explore his face, gentle fingertips tracing the contours of nose and chin, and moving beneath the blindfold to smooth the delicate skin beneath his eyes. When the calloused pad of a thumb began to stroke the plump flesh and silky skin of his lips, he moaned softly in pleasure, and gave himself up to enjoying this most realistic of fantasies.  


\---------------------------  


Jim Ellison was a Sentinel in trouble. Tormented by senses out of control, and in the final stages of shutting down, he was almost too far gone to even register being removed from his hospital bed and carried to another area, until his wayward sense of smell picked up on possibly the most enticing scent he had ever experienced. 

Even as his attendants continued to move him towards the siren scent, his sense of hearing gradually kicked back in, and he could hear a rhythmic drumming coming from the same source, and his weary mind supplied him with the answer. Guide! _His_ Guide. 

And then he was there....  


\----------------------------  


**Previous year, Cascade PD Major Crimes Unit:**  


“I’m really sorry, Jim. Are you going to be OK? How soon can you find another Guide to replace Carolyn?” 

Grim-faced, Sentinel Detective Jim Ellison replied curtly to the question, even though he knew it was meant with the best intentions. 

“Never, Joel! It was a stupid idea to bond with her anyway, and I should have known better. It’s not like she was a high-level Guide. Shit! She hardly even tipped the scale on the ratings system! But I thought I loved her, and that she loved me. Guess I was wrong on all counts, huh?” 

His questioner, Captain Joel Taggart, was genuinely sympathetic. The big African American was fond of Ellison, the man’s hard-ass attitude notwithstanding. He was worried that the departure of Jim’s ex-wife, Carolyn Plummer, to pastures new – and a new partner – in San Francisco would seriously damage the Sentinel. Like his other colleagues in Cascade PD Major Crimes Unit, Joel understood that once bonded, a Sentinel could no longer expect to function alone, and they were now desperately concerned that Ellison’s stubborn refusal to take another Guide would be literally the death of him. 

Sentinels were individuals who had between one to five senses enhanced through a natural genetic variation, and those rarest of beings with all five senses enhanced were referred to as Alphas. As long as a Sentinel remained unbonded, he or she was able to control the input from their senses adequately as long as they didn’t attempt to stretch out too far, and could therefore function perfectly well alone, if in a somewhat restricted mode. 

However, should they choose to bond with a compatible companion, or Guide, they could rely on their partner to ground them and watch their backs to leave them free to utilise their senses to the limit without the danger of sensory spikes or zones. Zones could occur when a Sentinel lost him or herself completely in the input of one sense to the exclusion of all else, thus inducing a fugue state wherein the individual was left vulnerable until pulled from it by a Guide who usually used touch and voice to accomplish the task. 

Guides, like Sentinels, were born not made, and also like Sentinels, could function perfectly well alone if unbonded. Usually possessed of a high empathy rating, they were invariably ‘people persons’ and naturally sympathetic to any Sentinel in trouble. If they did choose to bond with a particular individual, they received the physical and mental protection and shielding hot-wired into a Sentinel’s make-up, and in turn reciprocated by providing a base-line with which the Sentinel could ground their senses, and a source of comfort and control even under extreme circumstances. 

Naturally, such gifted pairs were much appreciated by modern society, and tended to utilise their skills in occupations which served the community, such as medicine, the police forces, the military, Search and Rescue and the fire services. 

Unfortunately, there was a serious down-side to bonding. 

A full sexual bond in effect fused Sentinel and Guide into a symbiotic whole, permanently destroying the natural checks and balances required to protect their gifts when alone. Should a partnership be broken, either by death or other circumstances, the remaining partner or partners had to find another compatible companion quickly, or else they were doomed to a very unpleasant death. 

For a Sentinel, it was a slow descent into madness as his or her senses spiked or cut out with increasing severity without the grounding control of the Guide, and Guides lost the protective shields which prevented them from overloading empathically on the emotions of the outside world. 

True, there existed specific medication which could suppress the worst symptoms in either case for a while, but it was at best a short-term solution as the effects invariably wore off in due course. Yes, the Sentinel and Guide Department and their colleagues in the pharmaceutical industries were working hard to perfect a better version of the drugs which could be used long-term, but these were still in the experimental stage and unavailable for use at present. 

By refusing to take another Guide, Jim was effectively condemning himself to a slow and excruciating death, and his friends knew it. 

Coming out of his brief reverie at the arrival of two more of the MCU detectives, Joel frowned worriedly at his friend’s words, upset by Ellison’s unbending stance. Gently patting Jim’s forearm he said, “You don’t mean that, Jim! Surely there’s another better Guide out there for you? I’ve heard that plenty of Guides would give their eye teeth to bond with an Alpha like you--” 

“And there’s the problem, Joel,” snapped Jim angrily. “They’re probably all like Carolyn – enamoured of the role without wanting to give up anything of their own lifestyles! And you know what? I can’t even say I blame her. After all, she was always a damned good forensic scientist, and the position in San Fran is perfect for her. Add to that a built-in mate in her new boss, and she’s good to go. And he’s welcome to her...” he added, in an angry undertone. 

“Anyhow, don’t worry about me, Joel. I’ve got pretty good control still, and I’m on the medication--” 

“And you can always use Megan when you need to out in the field,” chimed in one of the other detectives chirpily, completely oblivious to the frowning reaction his words evoked in Jim. 

Detective Brian Rafe, young, dapper and good-looking, was a fairly new recruit to the department, and had yet to witness the worst of the ‘Ellison ‘tude’. The Megan he was referring to was an Australian Inspector from New South Wales who had arrived at MCU through an officer exchange programme. Megan Connor was a tall, attractive brunette, who was not only a damned good detective, but also had low-grade Guide capability, so theoretically could help out occasionally should a Sentinel like Jim encounter difficulties when out on a case. 

Unfortunately, they couldn’t stand one another. 

Realising that there was a good chance Ellison was about to blow, Rafe’s partner, Henri ‘H’ Brown, a round-faced and jovial dark-skinned man, chuckled uncomfortably as he tugged at his younger colleague’s arm. 

“Come on, Bri. I don’t think Jim’s in the mood right now, babe...” and he threw a sheepish grin towards the man in question as he towed a puzzled-looking Rafe away. 

“I’ll explain later....” he hissed conspiratorially in his partner’s ear, having momentarily forgotten about Sentinel hearing. 

Grinning ruefully at the pair’s departing backs, Jim murmured, “And there you have it, Joel. The opportunity to be partnered permanently with the lovely Megan! Frankly, I’m not sure who would be the first to shoot the other. I think I’ll pass on that, and concentrate on doing my job as well as I can for as long as I can,” and he patted Joel amicably on the shoulder before returning to his desk to carry on with the ever-present paperwork his job required. 

Saddened by Jim’s words, Joel sighed resignedly and took himself over to his friend Simon Banks’ office, hoping to find some comfort in talking to MCU’s Captain.  


\---------------------------  


**2 Days Previously, Rainier University campus:**  


Grad student and Teaching Assistant Blair Sandburg bounced across the courtyard towards the main doors of Hargrove Hall, the building which housed the Anthropology department and his tiny cubicle of an office. 

Chatting animatedly with a few students from his Anthro 201 class, hands gesticulating wildly in counterpoint to his words, he had plainly captured their full attention as he waxed lyrical about the tribal customs of particular populations native to Papua New Guinea. As his students posed more questions and comments, provoking even more enthusiastic responses from their popular young professor, none of them were aware of two pairs of calculating and speculative eyes watching their every step from an upstairs window. 

Blair was an engaging and attractive young man who made up for a lack of physical stature with seemingly boundless energy and an irrepressible _joie de vivre._ Although barely twenty three years old, he had already completed both Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in his chosen field of Anthropology – specifically, Sentinel Studies – and was close to completing his doctorate, after which he planned to apply for a tenured post at the university. 

He was also a very highly-rated empath on the Guide database, but had no interest in pursuing any type of bond with a Sentinel. 

Having spent most of his childhood wandering from country to country with his free-spirited mother Naomi, he had become fascinated by the customs and cultures of other societies such that he had eventually persuaded Naomi that he wanted to settle down at Rainier to study anthropology. Even though he lacked formal educational qualifications, with her albeit reluctant blessing Blair had tested out as a genuine genius despite his tender years, so, at age 16, he became one of the youngest students to attend Rainier. 

One thing he hadn’t been aware of at the time though was his latent Guide capability, something which only came to light during the routine medical examination he was required to undergo before starting at his new school. 

Although a latent Guide herself, Naomi had never held with the belief that one should tie oneself permanently to another which is what bonding required, and so had deliberately kept Blair’s ability under the radar. 

It wasn’t that bonds were forced these days, as had happened with distressing regularity not so very long ago, but many elements of society definitely preferred that talented Sentinels and Guides work together as fully bonded pairs, and thus were prone to ‘guilting’ unwilling individuals to ‘do their duty’ whether they liked it or not. 

As far as Blair was concerned, he believed that he was serving the community well enough through teaching, at which he was very talented, and by actively participating in and supporting as many social groups and good causes as he could manage. Add to that a desire to live his own life, free to travel or stay as he wished, and the likelihood of bonding hardly ever crossed his mind. 

And if on very rare occasions he experienced a certain emptiness in his heart and soul, he put it down to his own choice in keeping friendships and sexual relationships commitment-light and casual, as he had learned to do through a lifetime of observing his mother’s _modus operandi._  


\-----------------------  


As the small group entered the building, the two watchers withdrew from the window and took their seats opposite one another, on either side of a wide and impressive mahogany desk. 

Resting his chin on his clasped hands as he leaned forward, elbows propped on the desk top, Dean Wilson regarded his visitor with coolly appraising eyes, a small frown evident between his greying brows. 

“So, Mr. Ellison, is our Mr. Sandburg what you have been looking for? Because I have to say that his leaving will be a great loss to the department. It’s not often we get such remarkable talent here, and in such an appealing package, too!” and a wry smile momentarily lightened his serious expression. 

“I have to say I’m not convinced you will be able to persuade him to leave despite whatever monetary incentives you offer him if he can no longer study or take part in expeditions. It is his whole reason for being, as far as I understand him. And he is so very close to finishing his dissertation.” 

“Don’t worry on that account,” replied his visitor with grim assurance. “I am confident he’ll see things my way, especially when he sees my son. After all, Guides can’t help but go to the aid of injured Sentinels. It’s in their genes!” and he sat back with a satisfied smirk. 

“Well, I have to say that I was surprised when you contacted me regarding this issue. I mean to say, we at Rainier have always been very appreciative of the generous donations we have received from Ellison Enterprises, and it I, for one, am happy to reciprocate in whatever way I can. But I should have thought that you would have been able to find a suitable Guide fairly easily from within your own social and business circles. Blair is, after all, a consummate academic, and something of a non-conformist to boot.” 

With a slight grimace, William Ellison took a moment before responding to the Dean’s comment, not wanting to arouse any suspicions in the other man’s mind. 

Yes, he had searched high and low for a suitable, highly-rated Guide amongst those of his acquaintance as Jimmy’s condition deteriorated, but to no avail. Most Guides capable of bonding with an Alpha in such a weakened state were already taken, and of the others, their abilities simply didn’t match up to their ambition. 

Throwing his not inconsiderable funds and influence into the search, he had his people look further afield, scanning the Sentinel and Guide Department’s database for likely candidates and eventually finding one who had every chance of meeting his criteria. 

Personal preferences and lifestyle choices notwithstanding, Blair Sandburg seemed to be perfect. He was bright, attractive, and gifted with a truly high empathy rating. He was also virtually alone in the world, if you discounted his nomadic and elusive mother, with no one to complain or make too much of a fuss if he should disappear unexpectedly. And William deliberately ignored any frisson of guilt he may have felt at the thought. It was Jimmy who mattered, not the wishes of some hippy-retro-flowerchild. 

Pulling himself out of his momentary reverie, William allowed his smile to widen as he sought to put Dean Wilson’s mind at ease. 

“Yes, it’s true that I personally should have preferred a Guide who would fit easily into the social circles in which my son was accustomed to move, but since he joined the Police Department, his needs have changed somewhat. I think Mr. Sandburg should have no trouble fitting into the Major Crimes Unit where Jimmy works. It is, after all, a sort of ‘closed society’, and should be a suitable challenge for an erstwhile anthropologist.” 

Hardly convinced, but prepared to at least provide the venue for Ellison Senior to meet his son’s potential Guide, Dean Wilson called his secretary, and asked her to contact Sandburg immediately, telling him to report to the Dean’s office.  


\------------------------  


Shortly afterwards a knock on the door heralded Blair’s arrival, and Dean Wilson invited him to enter. 

As per usual, the grad student had a wide smile and a bounce in his step as he crossed the threshold, saying brightly, “Hi, Dean Wilson! You wanted to see me?” automatically registering the other visitor but not wanting to stare. 

As a benevolent smile lit up the older academic’s habitually austere expression, the Dean replied, “Ah, Blair, my boy! Good to see you in such good spirits. Not that I believe I’ve ever seen you in any other condition!” he added in gentle mockery. 

“May I introduce you to Mr. William Ellison? He has a proposition for you,” and he indicated the smartly-dressed older man who rose smoothly to his feet to greet Blair. 

“Oh, hey, Mr. Ellison! Pleased to meet you!” Blair said, turning with a bounce to face the other man and holding out his hand for Ellison to shake. 

“If you’re Mr. William Ellison of Ellison Enterprises, then I want to thank you for your generous sponsorship of our expedition to South America last year. It was awesome, but we couldn’t have done it without your support,” and he beamed at the older man, enthusiasm radiating from his person. 

Responding with a smile which was more akin to that of a shark, William replied, “And I’m very pleased to meet you also, young man. And, as to thanking me, then I think I may have the means to enable you to do just that,” and he gripped the outstretched hand firmly as he openly appraised the younger man. 

Dean Wilson frowned briefly as he regarded the brief interaction, noting that Blair’s enthusiasm dimmed significantly as the empath ‘read’ the businessman standing before him. 

However, thinking that it was preferable for the upcoming discussion to take place in private, he addressed them both, saying, “I’ll leave you two alone to discuss Mr. Ellison’s proposition. If you need me, I shall be in the front office, but I think this is something that needs to be decided between you without my input. So, if you’ll excuse me, gentlemen?” and he smiled at the pair as he let himself out and closed the door behind him.  


\---------------------  


Less than an hour later, a red-faced and clearly upset Blair Sandburg hurriedly exited the inner office, head down as he scuttled for the front office door. Barely acknowledging the Dean and his secretary who had been engrossed in discussing some important internal memo, he reached the corridor and almost ran to his tiny office, needing to hide away for long enough to get his head around what William Ellison had demanded of him. 

Worriedly watching his favourite TA’s departure, Wilson returned to his office, fully expecting Ellison to be in a similarly disturbed condition. 

However, he was more than a little surprised to see the other man seated comfortably in the visitor’s chair, smiling smugly and plainly not in the least bit perturbed. 

“So, do I take it that Blair did not approve of your offer?” Wilson enquired. “He seemed rather upset when he left.” 

Looking entirely too self-satisfied for the Dean’s liking, William rose to his feet as he replied, “Oh, I’m very sure he’ll come around, Dean Wilson. In fact, I’m so sure that I can almost guarantee it! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to visit my son. 

“Thank you so much for the use of your office, and for setting up this meeting. If things turn out as I believe they will, I can foresee another generous donation to the Anthropology Department in the very near future.” 

Even as he ushered his visitor to the door, Wilson had the uneasy feeling that he may well have sold young Sandburg out for the proverbial thirty pieces of silver.  


\----------------------  


Sinking down into his battered office chair, Blair rested his crossed forearms on his untidy desk and laid his aching head down on them, desperately trying to calm his whirling thoughts and find his centre. Replaying the scene in his mind, he shuddered at the recollection not only of Ellison’s words, but also his smoothly intimidating and totally focussed scrutiny. 

When Ellison began by describing his son’s debilitated condition, Blair had easily read the other man’s genuine concern for his offspring, and approved whole-heartedly of his determination to alleviate the Sentinel’s suffering. Indeed, the Guide within him fully sympathised with the situation, even though he had never met the man. 

However, when William suggested – no, demanded – that Blair come to see his son with a view to testing their compatibility, Blair shrank away in panic. 

“Oh, no. No! I’m sorry Mr. Ellison, truly, and I hope you find a suitable Guide soon before Detective Ellison deteriorates further. But I’m not available. I have my life to lead, and teaching commitments here. I’ve never applied to Guide placements, simply because it’s not an option for me. I couldn’t tie myself to one person for life. It’s just not me,” and he sat back in his seat, willing the other man to understand. 

However, the coldness in the man’s expression on hearing Blair’s adamant rejection of his demand sent shivers down the younger man’s spine, and he felt more threatened than he ever recalled in his life before, expeditions to occasionally troubled areas and unwelcoming cultures notwithstanding. 

Now he understood what Naomi had meant by society trying to ‘guilt’ Sentinels and Guides into unwanted bondings. Shit!  


\--------------------  


The following morning, having spent a sleepless and disturbed night wrestling with his conscience and the demons therein, an exhausted and frazzled Blair Sandburg dragged himself unwillingly across the campus to the clinic. He had a routine appointment to get his mandatory Tetanus booster shot in preparation for an upcoming visit to an archaeological site with his Anthro 101 class, and it was something he couldn’t get out of. 

Smiling tiredly at the nurse on duty who was new to him, he sat himself down on the examination table as he murmured, “OK. Do your worst!” 

As the needle sank into his bared upper arm, he felt an unaccustomed burning sensation, but before he could comment on the fact, darkness claimed him, and he knew no more.  


\----------------------  


**Present day, Sentinel and Guide Hospital:**  


As the Sentinel was placed alongside the source of the wonderful scent and softly throbbing heartbeat, he lay for a few moments reconnecting with the body that had fallen into disuse ever since he succumbed to a self-induced zone. 

Once the medication he had been taking had finally lost its efficacy some months previously, he had rapidly lost control of his senses despite utilising a strength of will which had kept him functioning far longer than would normally be expected. 

Now, however, he could literally feel his senses settling by the second, and he instinctively knew it was because of the figure lying so still beside him. With a rumble of contentment and also determination to claim the source as his own, he opened his eyes which were for once untroubled by the softly diffused Sentinel-friendly light in the bonding room, and turned his head to regard his new companion. 

However, his handsome face took on a perplexed expression when the delicious scent became tainted with the sour tang of anxiety, and the gentle thrumming of the heart sped up dramatically, indicating that ‘His’ was upset. That couldn’t be allowed to happen, so he rolled to his side to reach out a large hand with which he cupped a smooth cheek, startled when ‘His’ cried out in fear. Instinctively using gentle touches to both learn the exquisite features and calm ‘His’ down, he rumbled again in satisfaction as the heart rate gradually returned to normal, and the scent regained its allure, enhanced even more by the fragrance of arousal. Once he was sure ‘His’ was no longer frightened, he concentrated on learning everything about the Guide, revelling in the ease by which he could now use his senses, which seemed to be improving exponentially. 

Leaving the blindfold in place as irrelevant for the moment, he stroked and caressed the lovely face, fascinated by the soft lips which he knew he had to taste. Lowering his head, he breathed in the intoxicating exhalations which sighed from the perfect mouth, then claimed the succulent lips in a deep and thorough kiss. 

Breaking away only when breathing became a necessity for them both, he pulled back in order to continue his exploration, growling in frustration at the flimsy barrier between them which he quickly removed by dint of tearing the garment – a paper hospital gown – from the lax form. Exposing the pale and beautiful body to his satisfaction, he proceeded to map and taste to his heart’s content, encouraged by the soft moans and restless movements from the figure beneath his questing fingers. 

Once satisfied that he had thoroughly explored the front, the Sentinel was impatient to turn ‘His’ over, the urge to complete the bond growing by the moment. Finding that the ankles were secured, he growled in frustration as he pulled the restraints free of the chains which held them, and carefully flipped the pliant body onto its side, facing away from him. 

Pushing the uppermost leg up towards the smaller man’s chest to expose his centre, the primal Sentinel was gratified to see that someone had already prepared ‘His’, and the Guide was ready for the taking. Spurred on by the increasingly sensual moans and movements ‘His’ was making, the Sentinel curled around the smaller body which fitted snugly against his, and his prodigious erection pressed against the waiting hole, pushing in with little resistance as the younger man moaned again, pushing gently backwards at the intrusion. 

With his nose pressed against the soft skin behind the Guide’s ear where the intoxicating scent was strongest, the Sentinel began to move, thrusts increasing in urgency as the need to bond grew ever stronger. 

Reaching round to stroke the other’s ready cock, within seconds his talented touch had brought ‘His’ to climax, which triggered his own reaction. Roaring in triumph, the Sentinel thrust into the heated and pulsing passage once, twice, and at the third thrust, he sank his teeth into the soft skin of the Guide’s neck where it met the shoulder, eliciting a scream of passion that quickly changed to a cry of distress as the bond flared between them, and they were joined as one, instantly knowing as they were known; changed irrevocably for ever.  


\----------------------  


For Blair, the episode had moved from the surreal through varying stages of bliss and almost incoherent pleasure as he gave himself up to his delightful fantasy. Enjoying the delicious reactions evoked by touches and caresses more sensual and addictive than he had ever before experienced, he writhed and moaned in a state of pure sensation, his still-drugged mind whirling with scattered thoughts and impressions, all of which fed his arousal until the moment of climax. 

However, even as he shot into the large and knowing hand which pumped him, the final vestiges of the drugs cleared from his mind, and he jerked instantly back to reality seconds too late to prevent disaster. 

Even as he screamed in denial, the large man clutching him bit down on his tender flesh and climaxed powerfully within him, triggering the bond which would bind them for life. 

Knowing to the depths of his soul that his life was now lost to him, and that he belonged to this Sentinel – this _rapist_ – even as the man belonged to him, he gave himself up to his despair and sobbed.  


\-----------------------  


For Jim Ellison, the triggering of the bond was equally traumatic as the primal Sentinel retreated to let the man reassert himself. 

While the Sentinel within him was deeply gratified and fiercely approving of the instant clarity of his senses and the physical and mental stability the Guide had engendered within him, Jim the man realised what he had done – what he had been set up to do – in his uncontrolled primal state. Mind cringing in horror at what his newly-gained knowledge told him, he realised that the sobbing young man in his arms had had no desire to bond, and was, like Jim himself, the victim of the type of forced pairing which hadn’t been approved of or even legal for years. 

Gently withdrawing his softening cock from the snug passage, he leaned up on one elbow to loosen the soft blindfold which was now damp from the smaller man’s tears, and reached up to release the arms still stretched above the Guide’s head. 

Once freed from his restraints, Blair instantly curled up into a tiny foetal ball, desperately trying to conceal himself from this man – Detective Jim Ellison - who was now his Sentinel and partner, unwanted and feared but now inextricably part of him. 

Even though he was aware that the other man was equally dumbfounded and worried, Blair was simply too lost in his own misery to concern himself with Jim’s emotions as yet, and the soft words washed over him unremarked. 

“Hey, kid! Are you OK?” murmured Jim worriedly, even though he knew very well that Sandburg was anything but. He also knew now that the student wasn’t as young as he looked, but compared to Jim’s own world-weary soul, he was a babe-in-arms. 

As his words only made the Guide sob even harder, trying to pull himself into an even tighter ball, Jim reached for a trembling shoulder, meaning to offer comfort, only to have Blair shrug off his touch with a moan. 

Well, shit, damn and fuck it! Now what was he to do? Grinding his teeth together in frustration, Jim felt both intense sorrow for the young man’s plight, and also intense guilt, even though this hadn’t been any of his doing. Sure, he had been very near total shut-down and death, but he had also made it very clear to both the staff at the Sentinel and Guide Department and to his family that he didn’t want another Guide, and was resigned to his fate. 

But now this young Guide was condemned to remain in close proximity for the rest of his life simply because he was what he was, and Ellison’s ruthless and manipulative father wouldn’t be gainsaid. 

Staring worriedly at the shaking back, Jim was ruefully aware of the desperate but futile attempts Sandburg was making to try and draw the permanently shattered remnants of his protective barrier over his thoughts, and was moved to reach for the Guide again with the intention of offering the comfort of his arms and the instinctive protection of his own shielding. 

However, with a screech of denial, Blair was galvanised into action at the touch, and shot off the platform, looking wildly around him for a means of escape even as his mind reluctantly accepted the Sentinel’s support. 

As Jim also stood, concerned for the other man’s safety, Blair quickly backed up into a corner, hands raised on a warding gesture as he rasped in a voice still thick with tears, “Don’t come near me man! Just don’t! I didn’t want this, and I don’t want you, so just leave me alone!” 

Face betraying his sadness and resignation, Jim stopped in his tracks and held up his own hands in an attempt at conciliation, saying, “Look, kid – Blair. This wasn’t my doing. You can _tell_ that, for God’s sake, because I know you can read me. Just settle down, and let’s talk this through, OK? Maybe we can reach some sort of agreement?” 

“Oh, I don’t THINK so!” Blair sniped back, wiping vainly at his wet and snotty face with the back of his hand like a little kid. “There’s something we can take, right? Some medication? Come on, man. Work with me here! We don’t have to do this!” he pleaded as he wrapped his arms protectively around his torso. 

Finally meeting Jim’s sympathetic gaze, his own eyes telegraphing his fear and despair, he willed the Sentinel to agree with him only to find his eyes filling again at the uncomfortable but inflexible expression on Jim’s face. 

“Sorry, kid – uh - Sandburg. It just doesn’t work like that. Take it from me. The medication is nothing more than a temporary stop-gap between the breaking of a bond and the forming of another. It’s not long-term even if that’s a possibility in the future. You know I’m not lying to you, Blair. For now, we’re stuck with each other, so let’s try and figure out a way to make this work--” 

However, before Blair could respond, their attention was distracted by the door opening, and a wary Director Dennison peeked around the side. 

Even as he growled in barely-controlled fury, Jim automatically placed himself in front of his Guide, prepared to rip the arms off anyone who dared to approach the young man, the instinctive compulsion to protect the Guide already firmly established. 

Momentarily bemused, Blair’s own Guide instincts came to the fore and he stepped forwards, reaching out to gently grasp Jim’s bicep from behind, and whispering soothingly, “It’s OK, Big Guy. Let him in. He can tell us what’s going on, and we need him if we’re going to get out of this...” he finished hopefully. 

To Dennison’s immense relief, Jim settled somewhat at the Guide’s words, but stayed on the alert for potential danger even as he gestured for Dennison to enter.  


\---------------------  


During the whole procedure from start to finish, William had watched entranced from the safety of the observation room, his self-satisfaction growing as events progressed and not even disgusted or concerned by the voyeuristic nature of the activity. 

By the time the bond was complete, he was grinning widely, completely unconcerned with Sandburg’s meltdown, or, indeed, Jim’s own current distress, merely content that through his positive intervention his son was saved from a premature and painful death and was now able to look forward to a productive future. 

Sitting back in his chair, he clapped his hands together and grinned wolfishly at his companion as he said smugly, “And there you have it, Dennison! A true bond, just as it should be! This is how these things should always have been handled – through a third party. There’s too much so-called ‘enlightenment’ these days where Sentinel and Guide choice is concerned. Just look at what would have been wasted if Guide Sandburg hadn’t been coerced into a bond! Whatever I may personally think of the little hippy, he’s more of a Guide for Jimmy than that bitch Carolyn ever was! He’s well rid of her! 

“Now, hadn’t you better get on in there and get them checked over? I want to see them as soon as I can, but I have no intention of getting my head ripped from my shoulders while Jimmy’s still in primal mode,” and he chuckled at his own words as Dennison got to his feet.  


\---------------------  


Back in the bonding room, Director Dennison had edged carefully around the door, followed by one of the medical staff and Jim’s two muscular attendants who were already well aware of Jim’s volatile temper which was presently greatly exacerbated by the new bond. They were consequently armed with tasers in case of attack, although they knew that the weapons were only to be used as a last resort if the inexperienced new Guide should fail in his efforts to control his Sentinel. 

Advancing a couple of paces into the room, Dennison came to a halt, swallowing audibly as he addressed the Sentinel, knowing better than to even look in the Guide’s direction if he wanted his head to remain on his shoulders. 

Smiling sycophantically, he deliberately played on the Sentinel’s protective instincts where the Guide was concerned saying, “Sentinel Ellison! May I congratulate you on your bond! And may I offer you the opportunity to allow us to check Guide Sandburg over before providing food and clothing?” and he waited nervously for Jim’s response. 

Although Jim’s first instinct was to bodily throw all the intruders from the room, he was aware of Sandburg’s tiny nod of approval against his back, and could easily discern the young man’s desire for bathing and clothes, if not the exam, knowing already that Blair was surprisingly body-shy for such an otherwise free-spirited soul. 

Maintaining his protective stance and ice-cold glare, nevertheless Jim nodded briskly as he ground out, “OK. You can check him over as long as I stay with him at all times. You don’t touch without my say-so, and you do nothing he doesn’t want you to!” and he reached behind him to loop an arm around Blair’s waist and tuck him protectively against his left side, leaving the right arm free to defend them if necessary. 

Director Dennison nodded and smiled in relief, indicating that they follow him to the next room where everything had been prepared for a routine medical examination, and fresh clothing awaited them after Sentinel and Guide had taken advantage of the luxurious bathroom facilities in the adjoining en suite.  


\-------------------------  


The next couple of hours proved to be almost as traumatic for Blair as the bonding itself. 

Already worried and upset by the thought of being examined by these men who had probably been the ones to handle and prepare his body in his drugged state, he couldn’t help but cry out and shudder in reaction when the examination grew more intimate, such that the Sentinel was driven to respond by literally throwing the nearest medic against the padded wall. 

Pulling himself together with an immense effort of will, Blair shakily reached for Jim before the furious Sentinel could follow up on his action by ripping the hapless man to pieces, managing somehow to make himself heard as he pleaded for the man’s life. 

Calming only at the sound of his Guide’s entreaties, Jim snarled at the other occupants in the room before growling out, “That’s enough! No one else touches him! He’s fine, and the last thing he needs is to be pawed at by you people. Now get out while you can, and leave us in peace to bathe. We’ll let you know when you can bring the food...” and he took a threatening step towards Dennison, who quickly gestured to his companions to leave the room, the shaken medic supported by the two attendants. 

For long moments after the potential threats to his Guide had retreated, Jim remained on high alert, automatically sending out his hearing only to encounter the numbing sensation of a white noise generator. 

Growling in displeasure, he stalked around their quarters, checking out the piles of fresh clothing and only slowly becoming aware of Sandburg’s increasing tension, belatedly realising that, with the other threats temporarily removed, the Guide was once more anxious about his Sentinel’s intentions toward him. 

The notion dampened Jim’s anger instantly, and he lowered his head, sighing again in resignation as he spoke. 

“It’s OK Chief. I’m not going to rape you again, if that’s what you’re thinking. You might as well shower first, and I’ll order the food once you’re done. I’ll only be a short while anyway...” and he tailed off uncertainly as he glanced over in Blair’s direction. 

Gulping audibly, Blair nodded quickly, and, grabbing his pile of clothing, scuttled to the bathroom before Jim could change his mind, slamming the door shut and sliding the bolt home, even though his common sense told him that the Sentinel could break it down at will should he choose to do so. 

Knowing instinctively that Jim wouldn’t do that, however, he quickly turned on the shower, and prepared to clean himself thoroughly, knowing that freshening himself up and donning a clean set of clothes would bolster his flagging ego somewhat against the trials to come. 

After taking longer than usual over his ablutions since he needed a while to try and pull himself together, Blair finally unlocked the door and peered nervously around, almost as if he expected Jim to jump him again despite his assertions to the contrary. 

Grimacing at the other man’s unease, Jim stood up from where he had been sitting on the side of the bed, saying, “For pity’s sake, Sandburg! I’m not going to maul you every few minutes! You should be able to tell that by now. 

“Look, I know this isn’t easy for you – or either of us for that matter – but what’s done is done, so can’t you just at least try to work with me...?” he finished, a note of entreaty in his tone as he held out his hand towards the jittery younger man. 

But Blair was still way too overwrought to be placated, torn between the horror of his violation and the reluctant knowledge that he had actually been enjoying it right up until the moment his full awareness had returned. 

“No! NO!” he responded, voice rising as his anger and hurt escalated again. “I don’t _want_ to work with you! I don’t want to _be_ with you, and I don’t want YOU! Just leave me alone!” and he stalked around the bed, positioning himself with his back against the wall as far from Jim as he could get, face etched deeply in misery. 

Patience finally running out, Jim responded angrily, pity for the young Guide momentarily eclipsed by his own hurt. 

“Well, that’s just fine, Sandburg! You just go ahead and sulk! But you’re not the only one affected here. I didn’t want a Guide either, and just what makes you think I’d have chosen you anyway? You’re not even my type!” 

However, the second the cruel words left his lips, Jim was stricken with guilt at the expression of shocked hurt and devastation his spiteful assertion had caused to flash across the younger man’s features. Even as a Blair choked down a sob of misery, Jim spoke again, holding out his hands towards the shaken Guide in a vain attempt at apology. 

“Jeez, I’m sorry, Chief. I didn’t mean that, well, not like it sounded...” 

And his heart clenched in sorrow as the younger man replied, voice low and shaking with emotion, “Oh, I think you did, Jim. You wouldn’t have said it otherwise. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. Sorry that I’ve been inflicted on you when it’s obvious you didn’t want me either. I just don’t know what to do here. How can we fix this?” and he swallowed hard, pinning Jim with a pleading look from wide and too-bright eyes. 

Wanting more than ever to hold the hurting Guide in his arms, Jim realised that now wasn’t the time to try that again with the virtual rape so fresh in Blair’s mind, so he decided to take his own shower to give the other man a bit of breathing space. And after that, he determined that he was going to comfort the Guide whether Sandburg wanted it or not. 

“Look, Blair, I know we have to talk, and work out some plan of action before we’re able to leave here, but it can wait while I get myself cleaned up and dressed. I won’t be long, OK?” and at Blair’s slight nod of acceptance, he picked up his own pile of clothing and entered the bathroom, but didn’t lock the door.  


\------------------------  


A few minutes later, Jim stepped out of the shower feeling refreshed and a little more like himself as he towelled off before donning the silk boxers and soft suit of sweats he had been provided with. 

As he combed his short hair and brushed his teeth, he frowned as he heard a slight noise from the adjoining room. Quickly exiting the bathroom, he noted Blair sitting despondently by the wall in the same spot, arms wrapped around his shins and chin resting on his knees as he stared with disinterest at the tray filled with sandwiches and coffee that had been pushed through the door. 

“Huh! Guess they didn’t want to risk coming in while I was still on the warpath!” Jim murmured with a wry chuckle. “Are you hungry, Sandburg? When did you eat last?” he asked, knowing full well that the young man needed to eat having automatically scanned him to ascertain his condition. 

Glancing up with dull, red-rimmed eyes, Blair responded tiredly, “Nah. I’m not hungry. You go ahead though if you want....” 

“You need to get something inside you, Chief. Even if it’s only half a sandwich!” 

Jim’s words only served to provoke a look of irritation in his Guide as Blair snapped, “Oh, right! I guess I’m going to have to get used to being constantly monitored from now on! Wonderful!” but he reached over and snagged half of an egg salad sandwich anyway and bit into it even as he glared up into Jim’s bemused face. 

Biting the inside of his cheek in an attempt not to laugh outright at the younger man’s snit, Jim pinched his lips together before giving in to his amusement and breaking into uncontrollable sniggers. Wanting to hold on to his anger, but unable to prevent his own somewhat hysterical reaction, Blair began to chuckle in response, and then laugh out loud, eventually having to hold aching ribs until the guffaws morphed into tears and he sobbed brokenly. 

This time, however, when Jim wrapped his arms around the shaking figure, Blair didn’t pull away, but clutched at the back of Jim’s sweatshirt with both hands, leaning into the broad chest and burying his face in Jim’s neck as the bigger man rocked him, rubbing his back in soothing circles with one large, warm hand. 

“Sshh, it’s OK. We’ll get through this, I promise. Sshh...!” Jim murmured softly, heart filling with compassion as he cuddled the smaller man to him. 

Long minutes later, Blair was all cried out for now, and pushed back a little, snuffling wetly as he muttered, “Sorry, man. I’ve made a big wet patch on your clean shirt.” 

“S’OK, Chief. Any time! Now, how about you go and wash your face, and then we’ll finish lunch – dinner – whatever it is, OK?” 

Nodding in agreement, too tired even to be embarrassed, Blair shuffled over to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. Drying himself off with a hand towel, he stared at his reflection in the mirror over the hand basin, noting the red-veined and haunted eyes looking back at him. Grimacing in disgust, he told himself firmly to get over himself and make an effort to work with Jim. 

Yes, he was still angry, but it was more from being manipulated rather than with Jim himself. He was also a little afraid of the man – after all, he’d been in Jim’s head and was well aware of some of the less-than-pleasant actions he had had to perform during his years both in the military and at the PD - but he admitted to himself that he had felt warm and protected in the Sentinel’s arms during his most recent meltdown. 

Now if only there was some way of making the partnership work.... 

Taking a few deep and calming breaths, he walked back into the other room and paused for a second to centre himself. Although he couldn’t actually bring himself to sit down beside Jim on the bed, he sank down to sit cross-legged opposite him, near enough to be able to reach the tray of food, and he offered a tiny smile of reconciliation before concentrating on finishing up his egg sandwich. 

Responding with his own smile and nod of understanding, Jim took another sandwich and chewed appreciatively, happy at least that he could now enjoy his food again, thanks to the grounding offered by his new Guide.  


\--------------------------  


Once all the food had been finished, and feeling a little better for it, Blair sat back and studied Jim for a moment, before looking around at the room with a touch of his normal curiosity. 

It was sparsely furnished, with nothing more than a large, softly padded platform as in the bonding room and the examination table which Blair chose to ignore. The walls were padded also, presumably to prevent an out-of-control Sentinel hurting himself, which was uncomfortably reminiscent of the padded cells of a psych ward. However, the bathroom facilities were exceptionally good, and provided with Sentinel-friendly products. 

Turning his attention back to Jim, Blair asked quietly, “Can you tell if this place is bugged? I mean, I guess it must be, because they’ll want to know the instant anything goes wrong. I was just wondering how long we’re expected to stay cooped up in here!” and Jim realised with a pang that Blair was probably worried about sleeping arrangements, nervous at what was expected of him. 

“Yeah, it’s bugged all right, Chief. I can hear the slight hum from the sensors, and there are tiny cameras in several strategic points. I can guarantee I wouldn’t be able to get at them to disable them, though, except by sticking something over the lenses, which is a possibility if necessary. And they’re using white noise generators elsewhere in the building, so I can’t make out any conversations, more’s the pity. 

“One other thing...there’s a panel in the wall behind you, which is probably covering some sort of window or screen. I suspect that that’ll be the means to ‘contact’ us while they’re still unsure of our – well, my – stability.” 

Chewing his lower lip in concentration, Blair murmured, “So how good would their bugs be? Sentinel-sensitive, or could we converse sub-vocally somehow, like, with me barely whispering, and you just indicating yes or no?” 

Grinning a little in appreciation of Sandburg’s growing interest in their situation and his willingness to do something about it, Jim replied, “Oh, I doubt the bugs are as sensitive as me, but I’m hoping we won’t have to resort to that just yet. I’ve a feeling we’re going to get some news very soon...” and he nodded towards the wall. 

Following his glance, Blair turned around and saw the panel Jim had indicated slide smoothly down to reveal a window to an adjoining room. Behind the window, which according to Jim’s enhanced vision suggested some type of unbreakable glass or Perspex, the room was furnished as a comfortable corporate office, with the large desk positioned so that it faced the window-mirror. The nameplate on the desk informed them that this was indeed Director Dennison’s office, and the door to the side opened to reveal the man himself, closely followed by two others. 

As Dennison took his seat behind the desk, the other men seated themselves to each side of him and all studied Jim and Blair with varying degrees of interest and curiosity. 

Although one of Dennison’s companions was of no interest to Sentinel and Guide, and was probably some sort of resident psychologist, the second man made Jim snarl in fury and disgust while Blair shuddered in remembered apprehension at the sight of William Ellison, who was smiling smugly at the pair, apparently unconcerned about the reactions he had provoked in his audience. 

As Jim growled and rose to his feet as if to attack the very glass in his desire to throttle his parent, Blair instinctively moved to his side, slightly behind his left shoulder, and gripped Jim’s bicep with nervous fingers as he said worriedly, “Please, Jim, no! Please don’t lose it, man! We need to hear what they have to say if we want to get out of here! Please, man!” 

After long moments, Jim heeded his Guide’s plea and, taking a few deep, cleansing breaths, subsided onto the bed again, drawing an unresisting Blair down with him and hugging him to his side with a protective arm around his shoulders. 

Eyes flicking uneasily from the pair to William and back again, Dennison coughed a little before beginning somewhat hesitantly, “Sentinel Ellison, Guide Sandburg. I’m very pleased to see you both looking so well, and I hope you feel better for having eaten. 

“We – that is – I thought it was time to discuss your bond and iron out any misunderstandings you may have...” and he swallowed uncomfortably at Jim’s snort of derision. Nevertheless, he continued doggedly despite the overt display of anger and disgust from the pair before him. 

“I expect that you want to know when you can be released--” 

“Before you go any further, Dennison, I’ve got a few questions I want answered – from him!” Jim ground out, indicating his father, whose smile slipped very slightly at the cold rage in his son’s eyes. 

“Why did you do it, _Dad?_ Why did you go against my express wishes, and why did you think you could get away with kidnapping an innocent man? Do you think I’m going to let this go? You’ve condemned Blair to a life of being tied to me! A life he never wanted!” 

As Jim spoke, William’s own anger was reignited, and he assumed a distinctly self-righteous and pompous attitude when he replied, weighting his words with all the power of the ruthless and successful businessman that he was. 

“Why did I do it? Because you’re my son, that’s why! And you’re an Alpha Sentinel who is far too important to our society to be allowed to suffer a premature and ugly death! 

“If all it took was finding you a strong enough Guide to pull you back from the edge, then of course I was going to do it. Why wouldn’t I? It’s not as if he’s of any importance, except as a suitable Guide for you! No one will miss him!” 

Then, turning to glare directly at Blair he continued, “You should be grateful to me, young man. Whatever you may say or think, your purpose for existing is to serve a Sentinel, not follow some airy-fairy academic life-style to please yourself. 

“And if you should try to claim otherwise, I’ll tell everyone that you were happy to accept my proposition. It’s my word against yours, _Guide Sandburg,_ and who’s going to believe you?” 

Trying desperately to push aside the numbing shock he felt at the man’s vicious words, and grateful for Jim’s supporting arm around him, Blair stammered, “B But I _didn’t_ accept! Dean Wilson will vouch for me!” 

“He wasn’t in the room with us, now was he?” William sneered. 

“Unless he also has Sentinel hearing, there’s no way he could have heard us, so you may as well accept the situation as it stands. As I know Jimmy will once he’s gotten over his righteous indignation,” and he looked from one to the other, smiling complacently and unconcerned at the hurt on the young Guide’s face. 

Restrained from physically attacking the window again in his fury only in deference to the man at his side, Jim stared his father down for a long moment before snarling threateningly, “Don’t you _ever_ come near Blair again. You will never see me or my Guide, and if you value your life, don’t even _try_ to contact me. As far as I’m concerned, we’re done!” and he dismissed William from his mind as he turned to squeeze Blair briefly in wordless comfort before turning once again to address Dennison. 

“OK, Dennison. Since you can see that we’re as stable as can be expected, given the circumstances, when do we get out of here? I need to get Blair settled, and we can hardly do that in these conditions. I take it he’s clear of your damned drugs now?” 

“Er, yes, probably, Sentinel Ellison. The dose was carefully administered, I can assure you. Just enough to calm your Guide--” 

“How long?” interjected Blair quietly but resolutely. “How long have I been here? What day is it, anyway?” 

“Um, it’s Saturday, Guide Sandburg. 10.30 pm to be exact. Do you recall much about the last two days?” Dennison replied, genuinely interested at what the young man had to say. 

With a perplexed frown wrinkling his brow, Blair turned to address Jim as much as reply to the Director’s question. 

“It’s only been three days! But it feels like a lifetime! It was Thursday when Mr Ellison came to Rainier and asked to see me. And the next morning I had to go to the clinic for a tetanus shot. That’s when you grabbed me, wasn’t it?” he snapped, glaring at William, who simply quirked an eyebrow, saying nothing. 

Turning back to Jim, Blair continued quietly, pinking in embarrassment as he said, “I guess it must have been late Friday night when you were brought in to me. I don’t remember anything between the nurse sticking her needle into me and waking up to you...um...your....” and he tailed off into silence, unable to speak of the rape or bonding process however one cared to view it. 

Hugging the smaller man to him and totally ignoring their audience Jim murmured, “Aw Chief! I’m so sorry, babe! The gods only know how I can make it up to you, but I swear I’ll try,” and he dropped a kiss on the crown of the curly head tucked beneath his chin. 

After long moments of giving and receiving comfort through their new link, they became aware of their watchers shifting uncomfortably in their seats, ill-disguised impatience on all three faces. Although Jim couldn’t give a damn about their comfort levels or precious sensibilities, he wanted to get the ‘interview’ over with as soon as possible so they could get out of here and begin their new lives together. 

As Blair pushed himself away with a small smile of gratitude, they both turned back to the window as Jim said, “OK. I think you’ve seen enough to know the bond’s set. What do we need to do to get out of here?” 

Relieved that they were on more neutral ground, Dennison replied, “Well, I don’t see any reason for prolonging your stay unnecessarily. We will need to keep you both overnight to make sure that every trace of medication has been eradicated from Guide Sandburg’s system, and to reassure ourselves that your senses are fully back on line and settled, Sentinel Ellison, but I see no reason why you shouldn’t leave tomorrow. Does that meet with your approval?” 

Realising that that was as good as they were going to get, Jim nodded curtly as he said gruffly, “OK, then. Tomorrow it is,” then he turned from them in dismissal, not even acknowledging as the panel slid back up to cover the window once again.  


\----------------------  


Left to themselves for a while, they sat side by side lost in introspection until Blair surprised himself by yawning widely, the trials and tribulations of the past few days having exhausted all his considerable energy resources. 

Grinning ruefully at his new partner, Jim patted his shoulder amicably as he said, “Why don’t you go freshen up a bit Junior, then turn in for the night? It’s not like there’s anything to do for entertainment around here, and I think we both need some sleep.” 

However, he was saddened to see Blair immediately tense up at his suggestion, jumping to his feet and beginning to pace up and down in growing agitation. Jim knew without asking that the younger man was probably expecting to be forced into a sexual bond again. 

Heaving a great sigh, Jim sat down on the bed-cum-bonding platform and patted the place beside him, indicating that Blair come sit by him. Biting his lip in worry, nevertheless Blair sidled up and perched tentatively beside the bigger man, feeling both apprehensive as regards Jim’s intentions, and foolish because hadn’t he recently spent quite a few minutes cuddled in the man’s powerful arms? In those circumstances, however, he knew it had been a manifestation of the Sentinel’s instinctive need to protect the Guide rather than sexual in any way. 

Reaching out a gentle hand to tilt Blair’s face up to meet his gaze, Jim knew he was going to need every bit of his paltry stock of patience if he was going to get through to the skittish grad student. 

“OK, Chief, now listen up!” he began, smiling a little to take the sting out of his words. 

“There’s no need to worry about me jumping you tonight or any night, OK? We were both tricked into the bond, but what’s done is done, and we could manage perfectly well for the rest of our lives without having sex again as long as we have plenty of physical contact. I just need to be able to touch you frequently to keep my senses grounded, and you need it to re-establish your empathic barriers when we’ve been apart for any length of time. 

“Now I’m hardly speaking from experience here, because my ex-wife was pretty useless as a Guide to be honest, and I had more than a few really bad episodes because of it, but I have been told by other established pairs that, with practice, we can gradually spend longer times apart without any ill effects. But never permanently, I’m afraid, but you already know that. You are the academic expert on Sentinel behaviour after all. 

“Anyhow, I guess what I’m saying is that I won’t be jumping your bones every five minutes, kiddo, so you’re quite safe to sleep on the same platform as me. 

“It’d be nice if you’d let me hold you though,” he added a little wistfully. “I think we’d both benefit, and you can keep all your clothes on too if it’ll make you feel better. What do you say?” 

In actual fact, although Blair was greatly relieved at Jim’s reassuring speech, and knew that the Detective was a man of his word, a treacherous little voice in his head was wounded by the implication that Jim didn’t find him attractive enough to pursue any sexual activity. But then again, hadn’t he said as much before? 

It didn’t stop Blair from feeling a little hurt at the rejection though. 

“Um, thanks Jim. It’s good of you to explain your feelings to me, and it does help. But I guess I’m safe anyway, aren’t I?” he added wryly. “After all, I’m not your type, so I should know better. Sorry!” and he ducked his head, suddenly feeling a surge of emotion and not wanting Jim to read it in his eyes. 

Cursing under his breath for the damage done by his thoughtless words, Jim decided that now wasn’t the time for deep discussions regarding what really was his type, so he simply patted Blair’s shoulder again and said, “Don’t sweat it, partner. How about you use the bathroom first, and I’ll see about getting us some bedding and stuff, OK?” 

Shooting him a quick smile, Blair trotted to the bathroom to take care of business, and by the time he came out it was to see that a pile of bedding and a tray of coffee and snacks had been delivered, courtesy of Jim’s erstwhile attendants, and that Jim was already busy making up the bed. 

Knowing that he really shouldn’t indulge in coffee at this time of night, Blair figured that he was tired enough to sleep anyway and it smelled so appetising that he reached for a mug. Glancing up he said, “Can I pour one for you, Jim? How do you like it?” 

“Thanks Chief, yeah. Black with two sugars please,” and Jim smiled amicably at him as he did the honours. 

Handing Jim his mug, Blair took an appreciative sip from his own, then, smiling a little shyly, he set the mug down beside the bed and slid in under the covers. 

“Um, do you have a preferred side?” he murmured. “I’m easy, and too tired to care anyhow.” 

“I’ll take the side nearest the door, Chief. It’s a Sentinel thing!” Jim replied with gentle humour. 

“I’m just going to the bathroom then I’ll be right with you,” and he set his mug down and left Blair alone to finish the rest of his drink and settle down for the night. 

When Jim left the bathroom, having deliberately taken longer than usual to prepare for bed, he was gratified to see that Sandburg was already snuggled down under the covers, and was deeply asleep already. 

Easing himself into the bed, he settled down on his side and quickly followed suit.  


\-----------------------------  


**Sunday morning:**  


Early the following morning, Jim woke feeling more relaxed and comfortable than he could ever remember and that included the early months of his doomed marriage. He was also aware that he had unconsciously gravitated towards Blair as he slept, and he was now curled up snugly around the smaller man, who nestled in his arms snuffling gently in his sleep, and looking, quite frankly, quite adorable. 

Deciding not to wake his new Guide just yet, Jim lay and watched over him, enjoying the opportunity to hold the warm bundle while he could. 

He was sadly aware that he had probably seriously damaged their already strained fledgling relationship by implying that he wasn’t sexually attracted to Sandburg, which was actually very far from the truth. Sure, it had served to reassure Blair regarding his intentions while the young man was still so jumpy, but in the long term, Jim would like nothing better than to pursue an intimate relationship with his Guide. He just couldn’t see how he was going to convince Blair that his desire was real. Even though their link should provide the means to discern each other’s emotions and intentions, he just knew that the younger man lacked the self-confidence to push so deeply into Jim’s mind. And until such time as he did, he would continue to believe Jim’s lie. 

Pulled from his troubled thoughts by the sounds of Sandburg slowly waking, Jim concentrated on sending soothing thoughts to the smaller man in the hope that it would prevent him from panicking when he perceived their cosy position. 

Within a few minutes he was congratulating himself on his success, as after only the briefest moment of tension, Blair relaxed again, obviously in no hurry to escape from Jim’s embrace. 

“Morning Chief! Did you sleep OK?” Jim enquired, thoroughly enjoying the warm and enticing scent of a newly-woken Sandburg. 

Wriggling slightly so he could turn his head a little, but without attempting to break Jim’s hold, Blair replied, “Yeah, I did. Thanks Jim. Did you?” 

“Sure did Chief. And I gotta say I feel better than I have in years. You’re obviously a good influence on me, and not a half-bad teddy bear either!” and he chuckled a little, pleased when Blair joined in. 

“Thanks for taking care of me,” whispered Blair a few minutes later. 

“I slept really well, and I wasn’t frightened when I woke up. I could ‘feel’ that you meant me no harm, man. But I guess we ought to make a move huh? Apart from the fact that my bladder’s complaining something awful, I suppose they’ll be coming soon to do my blood test, won’t they? And I really hope it _is_ negative, because I need to get out of here!” 

“You and me both, Junior! And, speak of the devil, I can hear someone outside. How about you nip to the bathroom and take care of business, and I’ll deal with our visitors?” 

Nodding gratefully, Blair slid out of the bed and trotted to the bathroom, relieving his protesting bladder then deciding to shower while he was at it, part of him wanting to delay having to interact with these people even though he needed to get all their testing done so he and Jim could be discharged. 

He deliberately put off thinking about what would happen after that, knowing that hard decisions would have to be made soon enough without scaring himself silly beforehand. 

Having dried himself off, he wrinkled his nose up at the pile of discarded sweats, not wanting to put them back on having slept in them, so he wrapped a large towel around himself and peeked out into the main room to see if their visitors had left. Seeing just Jim there, sitting on the edge of the bed and sipping the fresh coffee that had been delivered, he smiled slightly and walked over to the tray saying, “Oh, man! Does that smell good!” and he reached down for the mug Jim had already poured for him. 

Even as he was about to ask about clean clothes, he spotted his own freshly laundered clothes in a neat pile on the bed, and he grinned with pleasure when he saw his battered old backpack propped against the wall. 

“Oh, man!” he said again, approaching the worn item almost reverently, to Jim’s quiet amusement. “They kept it for me! I didn’t expect that. I thought I’d never see my stuff again!” and he made to open the pack to check the contents. 

“How about getting dressed first, then you can check everything out while I get myself cleaned up?” suggested Jim, thinking that Blair needed to get his priorities right. 

Referring to the two attendants who had just left, Jim continued, “Beavis and Butthead said they’d be back soon with the medic for your blood test, and I figured you’d prefer not to see them dressed only in a towel!” 

Shivering in response to his words, Blair shot him a rueful glance as he said, “You’re so right, man! I’m not letting them see me like that again, ever!” and he reached for his clothes as Jim nodded in understanding, moving to the bathroom to take his own shower. 

“Back in a few, Chief!” he said, and left Blair in peace to dress in private, even though Jim knew that the hidden monitors ensured that the concept was merely an illusion. Anything to give the Guide’s spirits a little boost, though. 

A short while later Jim had showered and dressed in the clean sweats provided by the hospital, since the clothes he had been admitted in had had to be cut from him, so distressed was he as all his senses combined to cause him more pain than he had ever believed he could bear without going totally insane. Indeed, he knew now that, if he hadn’t been heavily sedated immediately on arrival, he probably would have died within hours. With the suppressant medication no longer working, the next few months had passed virtually unremarked by the gradually fading Sentinel, who had been deliberately kept in a drug-induced almost-coma until such time as a Guide could be found or he finally died. 

Opening the door of the bathroom, Jim beheld a sight good enough to instantly derail his dismal train of thought, and he smiled softly to see a fully dressed Blair carefully going through the miscellany he had retrieved from his backpack. 

Taking a moment to catalogue his Guide while the other man’s attention was elsewhere, Jim noted that Sandburg was now wearing clean but well-worn jeans with frayed hems and a couple of tears in the knees, hiking boots, a deep blue Henley that matched his eyes, and an oversized blue and white plaid flannel shirt whose sleeves hung down low over his wrists. 

He had also donned several leather and bead native-style necklaces and bracelets, and his pierced earlobe now sported two gold hoops. 

With a sudden flash of recollection, Jim remembered that one of his Guide’s nipples had also been pierced, and he found himself hoping that Blair had put that ring in also. 

All in all, despite looking like the poster boy for thrift-shop chic, Blair actually looked good enough to eat, especially as he crowed happily over his few possessions. 

Looking up with a wide smile to see Jim standing in the doorway, Blair held up a battered laptop saying, “Oh man! Look at this! It’s so cool that they’ve kept this safe for me! I mean, my whole life revolves around this machine, man! Sure, I’ve got all my stuff backed up and stored in my office, but I’d be lost without this. I take it everywhere....” but then he tailed off as a frown darkened his face again. 

“But I guess I won’t need it so much now, will I? I mean, without the U and all....” 

“Hey now, Chief,” broke in Jim quickly, saddened to see the happy expression disappear from his Guide’s face. “We don’t know that yet, do we? That’s one of the things we have to work out between us for sure, but don’t give up hope yet, OK? Now, I can hear footsteps approaching, so what say you get your stuff put away, then we can get this blood test done, and we’re out of here!”  


\--------------------------  


**The Loft, that afternoon:**  


After automatically using his senses to check for unwelcome intruders, Jim opened the door to his loft apartment at #307, 852 Prospect, and ushered Blair inside. Halting a few feet from the door, the younger man gazed around, taking in the lofty ceilings and light but sparsely-furnished room which had obviously been recently cleaned and smelled very faintly of the pine-scented products which were recommended as Sentinel-friendly. 

“Good, Simon’s managed to get the place aired out. Looks like he’s arranged to get some groceries in also,” said Jim with satisfaction. 

“Certainly didn’t take him long, but then again, when I spoke to him this morning, he said he’d already had a heads-up from Dad,” - this said with a grimace - “so he knew we would be released soon. He also said that he wouldn’t expect us at the PD until Tuesday, so we have a day to get some of your stuff sorted, Chief. 

“Anyhow, why don’t you put your pack down, and I’ll show you around, OK?” 

“Uh, yeah, OK Jim,” Blair replied somewhat distractedly. “Uh...nice place you’ve got. Looks like you have a great view from the balcony too. Guess it’s good for looking out over your territory, huh?” he tried for a touch of humour. 

Knowing the younger man was more than a little stressed with all the rapid changes to his life so far, Jim was prepared to cut him a fair bit of slack to get himself centred. All things considered, he could hardly expect him to react with equanimity over the even more challenging adjustments ahead, so he tried to keep his comments matter-of-fact and uncontroversial. 

“Tell you what, Junior, I’ll just give you the whistle-stop tour of the place, then you can take a load off for a few while I make some coffee. We can decide on dinner later, although I think I’d like to order in. Don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like cooking.” 

“Yeah, whatever you want, Jim,” Blair responded quietly, suddenly hit by the realisation that this was now his home, whether he approved or not. 

Shaking himself out of his funk, he trailed after Jim, appreciating the way the older man was trying to ease him into his new life even though it was going to take a lot of effort on Blair’s part to fit in to an existence so alien to him. 

“As you can see, this is the great room, with the kitchen over there,” Jim was saying. 

“Bathroom’s along the corridor there, and the main bedroom’s upstairs,” he continued, pointing up to the mezzanine floor. However, before Blair had time to worry, he led the way to a small room under the stairs, saying, “I know this is only small, Chief, but I was thinking this would suit you for the time being. The futon’s OK for a temporary bed, and we can pick up some other furniture tomorrow. Desk, shelving, that sort of thing. I can shift these boxes down to the basement storage area this evening, then you should be good to go. What do you think?” 

“Yeah, uh...it’s really nice, Jim. But won’t it be expensive? I mean, you shouldn’t have to be paying out for me--” 

“I won’t be, Chief!” Jim interjected quickly before Blair’s anxiety could ratchet up again. 

“Don’t you remember Director Dennison explaining about the grant for new Sentinel and Guide pairs this morning?” 

“Um, no. I guess there was so much to take in I missed that one,” murmured Blair sheepishly. “But it’s good to know you won’t be out of pocket for getting lumbered with me.” 

“And that’s enough of that, kiddo! We _both_ got ‘lumbered’, and I for one am going to make the most of it. And I hope you will also...” he finished kindly, placing a warm hand at the small of Blair’s back to urge him towards the great room. 

“You park yourself there while I make the coffee, OK?” and as Blair sank down onto the nearest sofa, he took himself off to the kitchen to do just that, and also give the younger man a bit of breathing space.  


\-----------------------  


As Jim had no difficulty in ascertaining, Blair was finding it increasingly hard to keep it together, thoughts and emotions swirling around in his brain, and the ever-present threat of panic hovering just out of reach. Running a hand through his curls, Blair looked around him, knee jiggling with nervous tension as he fought to keep his cool. Taking a deep breath, he sat back a little, and forced himself to concentrate on everything that had happened this morning, and try and put it into some sort of perspective. 

Shortly after Jim had finished with his ablutions, Director Dennison had arrived with a medic in tow to take a blood sample from Blair. Once the simple procedure had been completed, he told the pair that it would be rushed through as soon as possible, and the results should be known before lunchtime. In the meantime, he invited them both to his office, as there was paperwork to complete, and a lot of information to impart, at least to the inexperienced Guide. 

Once seated in the Director’s office, the first order of the day was for Sentinel and Guide to sign the official contract acknowledging their bond. Seeing as it was a done deal, neither man could see any reason for refusing, although Blair had to swallow hard at the sight of the printed document that represented his life from hereon in. 

Dennison then proceeded to run through all the entitlements due to a new pair, as well as dates and availability for extra training courses for inexperienced Guides such as Blair, and names and addresses of recommended doctors and psychiatrists specialising in Sentinel and Guide mental and physical health issues. By the time he had covered individual responsibilities, Blair was close to overload, and would probably have tried to run screaming from the room if it hadn’t been for Jim’s hand squeezing his knee in support and the calming thoughts he felt through their shared link. True, the grad student would have had no difficulty in absorbing such a large quantity of information under normal circumstances, but these were far from normal, and he knew for a fact that a substantial amount had gone straight over his head. 

Luckily, Dennison had given them a pre-prepared package containing everything he had touched upon, so Blair knew that at least he would be able to look up anything he was unsure of. And Jim was well-informed already, so he could always rely on his Sentinel to let him know what he was doing wrong. 

Because he sure as hell was going to be doing plenty wrong in the upcoming days. 

Hauling back from that train of thought, he recalled the substantial brunch they had been served with whilst waiting for the test results, and knew that Jim had made a couple of phone calls from Dennison’s landline while Blair was forcing himself to eat. 

As soon as the tests returned negative, Jim had grinned happily and given him a spontaneous hug, which he had had no trouble in returning, then they had gathered up their belongings and headed out of the hospital, taking the cab that had been ordered for them to return to Rainier’s parking lot to pick up Blair’s car. Throwing his backpack into the back of the ancient Corvair, Blair was struck anew with the depressing thought that this could well be the last time he would be using the staff car park. 

Noting the sorrow marring the attractive features, and respecting his Guide’s need for silence, Jim had restricted his conversation to directions to 852 Prospect, and on arrival Blair pulled up alongside a well-used red jeep, which Jim told him was his own vehicle. Once in the elderly elevator which wheezed its way up to the third floor, Jim had wrapped an arm around Blair’s slightly shaking shoulders, realising that the young man could do with some TLC right about now.  


\-----------------  


Bringing his thoughts back to the present when he felt Jim sit down at the other end of the sofa, he smiled weakly but gratefully at the other man when a mug of fragrant fresh coffee was pressed into his hand. 

“Thanks, man,” he murmured, sniffing at the brew before taking a sip. “It’s really good. I needed that!” and he tried to inject some enthusiasm into his voice and demeanour, because it sure wasn’t fair to keep dumping his grief on Jim as he had been doing. 

However, Jim was well aware of what he was thinking, and was having none of it. 

“It’s OK to feel upset, Chief,” he said softly. “The gods only know we both deserve a bit of understanding. Just don’t shut me out, OK? At least try to trust me not to hurt you again, babe. It was the primal Sentinel reacting to unnatural conditions, and, as long as we can have a good working relationship, he doesn’t have to come out to play again, OK?” 

Appreciating Jim’s continuing reassurance, Blair nodded and smiled a little before diffidently broaching another topic that was worrying him; that of what he should do about his shabby apartment and the rest of his meagre but treasured possessions. 

He was almost overcome with gratitude when Jim replied, “No problem, Chief. Simon said my jeep had been kept in running order, so if you want, we can go to your place after we’ve finished our coffee, and pack up your stuff. I’m thinking there won’t be all that much, huh?” and, at Blair’s nod of assent, he continued, “You can unpack what you need for now, and the rest can go into the basement until you want it. 

“I just want you to feel that you can make yourself at home, Chief. It hasn’t been a home for me since Carolyn left, and probably not even then. I sure couldn’t be bothered to replace the items she took with her, so perhaps some of your stuff will make it more welcoming!” and he was almost overcome by the tears of gratitude and appreciation he could see trying to leak from his Guide’s beautiful eyes.  


\----------------------------  


A few hours later, Jim was trying valiantly not to back-track on his declaration as several somewhat outlandish artefacts found their way to his shelves, and the walls were now sporting two or three fairly gruesome African tribal masks. However, there was no way he would have derailed his new roommate’s genuine pleasure as the younger man introduced each piece to Jim with a happy smile and a potted history of how he had come by each treasure. 

Wryly recognising that he wouldn’t have had even half the patience for Carolyn as he was now exhibiting for Blair’s sake, Jim grinned at the young man and wrapped an arm around the slender waist. 

“So, Chief, is that it? ‘Cos I have to say I’m just about running on fumes here. Gotta say the place certainly looks like it’s lived in now, though!” 

Turning to him with a blindingly happy smile, Blair replied, “Oh thank you, Jim! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this! I was so worried you would hate everything I had or even stood for! I can’t thank you enough for making me feel at home!” and he wrapped his arms around Jim’s waist for a genuinely spontaneous hug, and Jim was hardly going to complain about that. 

A little later still, after they had demolished the good-sized pizza Jim had ordered, it was pretty obvious to Jim that his new Guide was wilting rapidly. 

“OK, Chief. I think you’re just about done also. How about we get some sleep, then we can spend tomorrow sorting out some more stuff for you? We need to go to Rainier, after all....” 

Brought back down to earth by Jim’s words, Blair shot him a rueful half-smile as he replied, “Yeah, I guess you’re right Jim. Dean Wilson’s not going to like what I have to tell him, and I really do have to get my classes covered. Perhaps I do need to get some sleep...” and he busied himself with collecting their plates and silverware, trying not to think about the coming day. 

Jumping slightly in surprise as Jim moved up behind him to help, he was incredibly moved when the older man said, “S’OK, Chief. We _will_ get something sorted for you. 

“It might not be teaching, because I think I’m going to need you with me at the PD for a good part of the day, but I don’t see why you can’t have some study time. At least you should be able to get your doctorate, babe, and after that, well, I’m sure there are plenty of job opportunities out there, especially in forensics and profiling. 

“We just need to get through these first weeks....” and he was touched when Blair hugged him again, unable to word his response, but bleeding gratitude through their link even as he fought against his tears.  


\-------------------------  


In the early hours of the morning, Jim was roused from his sleep by the sounds coming from the small room downstairs. Worn out by the events of the past few days, both men had fallen asleep very quickly, with Jim in particular soothed by the gentle snores and rhythmic thrumming of his Guide’s heartbeat. 

However, it was hardly surprising that Blair should be stricken with nightmares about the bonding, and the drug-induced dreams that preceded it. Added to that, the unfamiliar surroundings that met his frightened gaze as he startled awake drove him towards a panic attack such as he hadn’t experienced for months. Fighting with his tangled sheets, he groped for the lamp beside the bed, breath coming in laboured gasps as his heart hammered double-time. 

Throwing aside his own bedding, Jim ran downstairs as fast as he safely could, and paused outside the French doors to Blair’s room just long enough to knock before entering. Quickly assessing the situation, he moved into the small room, holding out his hands to the terrified young man and murmuring, “Hey, Chief. It’s OK. Breath for me, kiddo! Come on now, it’s OK!” 

He could tell that Blair wasn’t really fully awake despite his wide-eyed stare, so he kept his movements calm and unthreatening, but had no intention of leaving the other man alone in this condition. Wrapping his arms around the shaking figure, he wasn’t surprised when Blair began to struggle frantically against the encircling grip, but hung on, murmuring soothing words until the struggles slowed down and finally ceased altogether, and Blair’s arms came up to wrap around his waist in their turn. 

“S S sorry, man! B Bad d d dream...” Blair stammered as he buried his face in Jim’s shoulder, still breathless, but heart gradually slowing down to normal. “Didn’t mean to wake you, man.” 

“No problem, Chief. It’s only to be expected,” Jim responded, actually thoroughly enjoying the contact with his Guide. 

“Look, Junior, how about coming upstairs with me? I promise I won’t try anything, but I think we could both benefit from the closeness. If you do have another nightmare, I’ll be right there for you. What do you say?” and he was quietly thrilled when Blair nodded against his shoulder. 

“OK, Jim. If you really don’t mind?” he whispered, needing the comfort far more than he would possibly have expected, and knowing that Jim had no intention of trying anything on, at least for tonight. 

“I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it, kiddo, so come on. Let’s try and get a few more hours’ sleep, OK?” and he stood up, arm still encircling Blair’s waist, and guided the younger man up to his room. 

Once Blair was settled comfortably on the far side of the large bed, Jim slid under the covers himself, and both men quickly drifted off again. There were no more nightmares, and in the morning, Jim woke up to find that once again he had an armful of sleeping Guide, and he grinned in contentment at the discovery.  


\--------------------------  


**Part 2: A Difficult Path:**  


**Monday morning: Rainier University:**  


A couple of hours later, Jim was feeling anything but content as he carefully monitored his Guide’s condition as they sat in Dean Wilson’s office. Blair was understandably upset, but trying so hard to hold it together as the difficult interview progressed. 

As soon as it was practicable, Blair had phoned the University to advise them that he wouldn’t be able to cover his classes, and to request a meeting with Dean Wilson so that he could explain his new circumstances. Dean Wilson’s reaction to Blair’s news was less than encouraging, although in all honesty he hadn’t been taken completely by surprise. 

“So you’re actually bonded, Blair. And to Detective Ellison here after all! I have to say that I didn’t expect it of you, my boy. Especially having witnessed your reaction to Mr Ellison’s proposal just last week. He must have offered you a real incentive to throw away your academic career like this,” he continued somewhat snidely. “And now I suppose I have to get all your classes covered until I can find another suitable TA! This really is most inconvenient, Blair, and just before mid-terms also!” 

As the older man settled a stern and accusing gaze on Blair, Jim decided that he had had more than enough, and that he was going to set this pompous pedant straight. 

Even as Blair opened his mouth to apologise yet again, Jim interrupted, saying, “Now just a minute, Dean Wilson! Before you take that tone with my Guide, what you should understand is that this wasn’t Blair’s doing. He was given no option but to bond with me, and I would give anything for him to have his life back. But thanks to my father, neither of us was given a choice. Whatever the official record shows, this was a forced bonding, and now we have to learn to live with it. 

“Now I know that I’m going to need Blair with me when I return to work at the PD tomorrow, but I should like him to be able at least to finish his doctorate. He deserves some consolation for being coerced into a role he was totally unprepared and unwilling to take on. 

“I suspect that my father made it more than worth your while anyway, am I right? What was _your_ incentive for setting Blair up, Dean Wilson? A new sports complex perhaps, or maybe a scholarship or two?” 

“How dare you!” the older man blustered, assuming an air of high dudgeon. “How dare you insinuate that I had anything to do with this...” but then his gaze shifted to take in Blair’s devastated expression, and he immediately deflated. 

In a much more conciliatory tone he continued, “I’m sorry, dear boy. That was most unfair of me, and uncalled for. In a way I suspect that it is my guilty conscience rearing its ugly head! I’m afraid that in one sense Detective Ellison is correct, and I have received a substantial cheque on behalf of Rainier’s Anthropology Department from Ellison Enterprises just this morning. 

“But I swear to you, Blair, that I had nothing to do with anything irregular. I simply provided the venue for your meeting with Mr Ellison, and, truth be told, after seeing you run from this office in such an unhappy state, I rather assumed that nothing more would come of it. 

“When you came in this morning, I regret to say that I thought the worst; that you had allowed the promise of money and social standing to turn you away from your brilliant academic career. 

“I should have known better, Blair, and I’m more sorry than I can say that you’ll be leaving us, as least as a TA. But if you can complete your actual dissertation, you have accumulated more than enough credits, so you can submit whenever you like as long as your committee is agreeable. I’m afraid that’s the best I can do...” and he tailed off, eyes now filled with regret and compassion. 

Immediately empathising with the older man, and understanding now where he was coming from, Blair offered a small smile as he said, “Thank you, Dean Wilson. I’m very grateful to you for allowing me to keep my doctoral dream alive, and I’m so sorry to let you and Rainier down. 

“And thank you too, Jim,” he murmured, turning to face his Sentinel. “Thank you for standing up for me like that.” 

“Any time, Chief, any time!” replied Jim with a soft smile. 

“Now, if you’ll excuse us, Dean Wilson, we have quite a bit to get through to prepare Blair for his first day as the PD’s newest working Guide. And I’m thinking that you probably would like for us to clear Blair’s office?” 

Dean Wilson knew that that particular task was going to hit Sandburg very hard, so he responded quickly, “No hurry, Blair, but it would be best if you could do it sooner rather than later, if you don’t mind. Office space is at a premium in this building, as you’re well aware!” and he offered a slight smile at his own lame joke in an attempt to cheer the young man up a little. 

Smiling sadly in return, Blair replied, “Thanks, Dean Wilson. I’ll make sure it’s cleared by the end of the week, OK?” 

Jim squeezed his shoulder in support before saying, “And I’m glad to know that you don’t blame Blair, sir. That lies squarely on my father’s shoulders!” he finished, his tone hardening appreciably at the words. 

Nodding in rueful understanding, Dean Wilson stood to show them out after shaking both their hands and wishing Blair luck, but it didn’t take an empath to read the underlying sadness in his eyes.  


\---------------------------  


As the pair made their way back to where Jim had parked his jeep, the Sentinel kept his arm wrapped around Blair’s waist, needing the grounding contact with his Guide even though he guessed that the smaller man would normally be a little uncomfortable at such open ‘touchy-feely-ness’. 

“You OK, Chief?” asked Jim, hoping that Blair would confide in him how he felt, although he also knew that right now Blair would be preoccupied with ‘processing’ the recent interview. 

Sure enough, a rather distracted Blair had to visibly rein in his thoughts before turning his attention onto Jim, much to Jim’s wry amusement. 

“Uh, yes, Jim. A bit shaken I guess, but I’m so relieved he doesn’t think the worst of me. We always got on so well, you know? And it’s great that he’ll allow me to submit. He didn’t have to do that, and I’m so grateful to him – and to you, for supporting me,” and he smiled up at the other man, even as he suddenly seemed to register their closeness. 

Smile slipping just a little, he continued, “Um, not that I’m really complaining, man, but aren’t we being a bit cosy here?” and he glanced around to see if they were attracting any untoward attention as they crossed the campus. 

Without releasing his hold, Jim replied, “Since you mention it, Chief, you ought to understand that this is going to be the norm for us from now on. I’m sorry if it’s uncomfortable for you at first, but you’ll find that you need it as much as I do. It’s not only Sentinels who need to be grounded by using touch, as you’ll discover soon enough when your empathic shields need a boost. You’ve just not been away from me long enough yet to experience that little treat,” he added with wry humour. 

“But surely you should know this already, Chief? After all, you’ve been studying Sentinels for years!” 

Ducking his head and blushing a little at the small rebuke, Blair murmured, “Yeah, I guess I do, Jim. But I’m sorry, theory’s one thing, and putting it into practice is another. It’s going to take me a while to get used to it, you know? I mean, I’ve always been open-minded about seeing couples getting up close and personal in public, but it’s not something I’ve ever done, you know? Except in bed, that is...” he muttered, blush deepening at the admission. 

“Yeah, well, for what it’s worth, Blair, I sympathise with you. Especially as you’re more than likely to come across some unpleasantness from those who either don’t understand, or don’t care about what a Sentinel and Guide bonded pair is all about,” Jim replied with a rueful grimace. 

“I guess that at least with Carolyn being my wife as well as my so-called Guide, we could get away with PDAs quite easily – not that she liked them much either,” he continued with a chuckle. 

“I just needed you to understand that it’s yet another facet to get used to...” then his tone changed abruptly to one of barely-controlled fury as he growled, “Shit! I can’t believe how much damage my asshole father has done! You should _never_ have been exposed to this sort of problem without accepting a vocation to guide, _and_ getting the relevant training! This is so _wrong!”_ and he broke away to stalk angrily towards the jeep, his whole demeanour radiating tension and thinly-veiled aggression. 

Gulping in fright at the unforeseen outburst, Blair stopped in his tracks, hesitating between going to Jim to offer comfort, and running for safety, unsure as to whether the big man would hurt him, even if unintentionally. 

Chewing his lower lip in anxiety, Blair finally opted to approach his Sentinel, even though he geared himself up to run for it if Jim turned on him. 

“Jim, man, it’s OK. It’s going to be OK,” he murmured, unconsciously using his ‘Guide tone’ as he warily closed the distance between them. 

“Come on, Jim. Please, man. I can deal, really, Big Guy. Please don’t be mad!” and he reached out a trembling hand to touch Jim’s back in comfort. 

For a terrifying moment, he thought he had made a big mistake as the strong back muscles flinched slightly under his hand, then he was caught up in a bear hug as Jim pulled him close, burying his nose in Blair’s curls as he murmured, “I’m sorry, kiddo. I didn’t mean to frighten you by going off like that. It’s just so hard for me to get over this. But I’ll try not to take my aggression out on you. After all, you’re the injured party, aren’t you?” 

“As are you also, Big Guy,” Blair replied softly. “So I’ll try not to take my resentment out on you either,” and they clung together for long moments taking and receiving support and comfort.  


\------------------------------  


**Tuesday morning: Cascade PD Major Crimes Unit:**  


It was a pale and silent Guide who accompanied Jim into the PD the following morning, and Jim couldn’t help glancing at him in concern, as, indeed he had been doing since waking. 

He knew that Monday had been a difficult day for Blair. Hell, he hadn’t caught a break ever since his meeting with Jim’s father the previous Thursday, and it was becoming ever more apparent in his troubled face and the visible tension in his bearing. And Jim knew he hadn’t helped in frightening the young man by losing his temper. Sure, logically he knew that he had a right to be upset also, but in fairness, he at least had the benefit of experience, having been bonded previously, whereas for Blair everything was new and unwanted to boot. 

As far as Jim himself was concerned, the only bonus was that, once they had prepared for bed last night, after less than an hour of tossing and turning in his small room, Blair had crept up to the upstairs bedroom where he had stood at the end of the bed. Looking miserable and impossibly young he whispered, “Um, I’m sorry to bother you, Jim, but, um...do you think I could sleep up here again? I mean, I don’t want to intrude or anything...” and Jim had smiled at him, and simply lifted up the bedcovers for the smaller man to slide in. Once again he had awoken to an armful of warm and fragrant Blair, and it was only after the younger man had roused fully that reality had kicked in again and his nervousness about the upcoming day had spoiled the mood. 

Although he had done his best to eat the breakfast Jim had prepared for him, Blair only managed half a slice of toast and a spoonful of eggs before his queasy tummy objected. Automatically scanning his Guide, Jim could easily discern the churning stomach and nervous twitches, so he didn’t push it, and simply poured Blair another cup of coffee, which he quickly downed. 

After spending a little longer than usual in the bathroom, Blair retreated to his room to try to make himself look less geeky and wimpish, knowing that it was going to be hard enough trying to fit into the sort of macho environment of the PD without drawing unnecessary attention to himself at the outset. 

Pulling back his curls into a tight ponytail, he put on his best jeans, a newish blue Henley and another plaid overshirt. Suddenly experiencing a slightly rebellious urge, he kept the hoops in his pierced ear, but refrained from wearing more than one leather bracelet, and one simple Native American bead necklace which nestled unobtrusively beneath his collar. He decided against wearing his wire-rimmed glasses because he thought they probably made him look nerdy, so stuck them in his breast pocket instead until needed. 

Finally emerging from the bedroom, he glanced nervously at Jim, half expecting either a sarcastic comment or an order to change into something more appropriate – although into what, he couldn’t imagine, since his tiny wardrobe consisted of more of the same. 

Much to his relief, Jim simply nodded in appreciation, and held Blair’s slightly better thrift shop jacket out for him to slip on. Then, slinging a supportive arm around the smaller man’s shoulders, he steered him out of the loft and down to the jeep. 

During the short drive to the PD, Jim had respected Blair’s obvious need for silence, and restricted his intrusion into the younger man’s privacy to occasional surreptitious glances and the ever-present need to scan him, using the exercise to both monitor the Guide’s physical condition and ground his senses.  


\----------------------------  


During the trip up from the underground parking lot to the sixth floor and the MCU, Blair’s nerves hadn’t improved at all. Fully aware of both furtive glances and openly speculative stares, he was at least spared any snide or unflattering comments even though Jim caught a few muttered just within range of his hearing. Most cops and PD staff were well-used to working with Sentinels, so kept any critical opinions to themselves, especially as Jim’s reputation preceded him, and no one in their right mind would deliberately bait the ex covert ops soldier-turned-Detective. 

As they exited the elevator and walked along the corridor towards the bullpen, Jim paused for a moment, and turned Blair to face him. 

“You OK, Chief? Your heart’s going a mile a minute, and you haven’t uttered more than a couple of words since we arrived. I know it’s hard, but I’m not letting you out of my sight, so try not to worry too much. Just remember you have nothing to prove, Blair. If anyone has to prove anything, it’ll be me, because the last time I worked a full day here without going off the deep end because of my failing senses was over a year ago now. I have to show my Captain and my colleagues that I’ve gotten my act together again. 

“And if I have, it’s down to you, kiddo, and you alone, so try not to forget it!” and he reached up to cup Blair’s pale cheek for a moment, smiling down into the wide and anxious blue eyes. 

Nodding slightly in somewhat dubious assent Blair whispered, “I’ll try, Jim. I just don’t want to make a fool of myself, you know? I mean, I don’t care about myself so much, but I’d hate to think they’re laughing at you behind your back because I can’t cut it as your Guide”. 

“Don’t sweat it, Junior. You’re entitled to make a few mistakes, and even if you do, you could never be as pathetic a Guide as Carolyn was. She didn’t even _want_ the job after we bonded! But I don’t want to talk about her. 

“Come on, let’s get this over with...” and he threw an arm around Blair’s shoulders and pushed open the doors to the bullpen, gently urging his new partner through.  


\------------------------------  


If he hadn’t been monitoring the smaller man with sentinel senses, Jim would probably have been as taken in as everyone else by his Guide’s apparent aplomb. Despite his heart still beating double-time, and his normally enticing scent soured by anxiety, as soon as Blair entered the bullpen, his eyes and features lost the panicky deer-in-the headlights look, to be replaced by a gentle smile and softly friendly expression as the young man gazed around him. 

Frankly, Jim was totally in awe of his Guide’s acting ability, and wasn’t about to call him on it and show him up. 

“Come on, Chief,” he said cheerfully, responding in kind. “Let’s get you settled at my desk – if I still have one, that is – and then I can introduce you around,” and he steered the younger man over to the area in the corner furthest away from the door, heartily grateful to see his nameplate still sitting on his old desk. 

“Well, what do you know? They must have been expecting us!” he chuckled, already checking out the room for friendly faces. 

Although he was well aware that there were more than a few openly curious looks directed their way, he was greatly pleased when a rather corpulent but kindly-looking African American immediately headed towards them. 

“Jim! Oh man, it’s so good to see you, my friend!” the older man said, voice filled with genuine pleasure. “And this must be your saviour!” he continued, with no innuendo at all, turning a friendly gaze on Blair. 

Grinning at his old friend, and more than happy to introduce his new Guide, Jim replied, “Hey, Chief! Meet Captain Joel Taggart. One of the best detectives you’ll ever come across, and a bomb disposal expert to boot! MCU is so lucky to have him,” he continued, gently pushing Blair forwards. 

Although the new Guide’s boosted empathic capability had been more than a little buffeted by all the conflicting emotions he had experienced so far since entering the building, Blair was thrilled to find that Joel Taggart was every bit as honest as he appeared, and his welcome was sincerely appreciated. 

“Hey, Joel! Blair Sandburg. Pleased to meet you also!” he responded, holding out his hand for the older man to shake. “It’s great to meet someone Jim’s already worked with, and I hope I’ll get to see more of you?” 

“Without a doubt, son, without a doubt!” the big man replied, holding Blair’s hand with both of his. “I’ve been praying that Jim would find a real Guide, and I think you’ll do just fine, son,” he continued, although Blair was aware of a slightly sad undertone, so he concluded that Joel at least was aware of the unconventional circumstances behind their bond. 

“I’ll do my best man,” he replied softly, meeting the other man’s wise and sympathetic gaze. 

Receiving a nod of understanding, he was distracted by a shrill squeal in a distinctly Antipodean accent. 

“Jimbo! You’re back! And with a proper Guide! Good on yer, mate! Bloody good show!” and a tall, striking brunette hurried towards them, arms outstretched to hug whomever she reached first. 

“Uh, Chief,” Jim muttered urgently, “This is Inspector Megan Connor, on exchange from the New South Wales Police Department,” and he cringed visibly as the enthusiastic young woman closed in on him. 

Clasping his face with both palms, Megan planted a sloppy kiss on the Sentinel’s cheek, then, without missing a beat, hugged Blair to her, planting a similar kiss on the crown of his head – which was several inches below hers – before pushing him away slightly to gaze down at him, face alight with delight. 

“So, you’re Blair Sandburg? Hey, you’re so cute!” she enthused. “How in hell did you pull this off, Jimbo? He’s good enough to eat!” and she patted both of Blair’s cheeks as she grinned unaffectedly at him, unworried by his faintly bemused expression. 

“Things are really looking up in this department,” she continued gleefully. “You’d have to be a real drongo not to notice!” and then she cast a slightly belligerent glance around the bullpen, as if daring anyone to be foolish enough to disagree with her. 

“Welcome to the MCU, Sandy,” she finished, and hugged him again even as the door to the captain’s office opened, and Simon Banks’ stentorian bellow cut across her speech. 

“Ellison, my office – and him too!” and the captain retreated within, not even bothering to check to see if his orders were being followed. 

“Guess that means the both of us,” Jim muttered, and grasping Blair’s upper arm, he smiled ruefully at Megan and Joel as he led Blair towards Simon’s office. 

Exchanging a slightly worried glance, Megan and Joel retreated to their desks, each of them hoping that the sweet-looking young Guide was going to be a permanent fixture in MCU.  


\-----------------------  


Once the door closed behind them, Simon indicated that Jim and Blair take a seat before his desk while he busied himself with pouring a coffee from his personal machine. 

“Can I get you one?” he offered, waving the pot at them. “It’s yet another of my brother-in-law’s expensive blends, but I still think they all taste like Maxwell House!” 

When both men accepted with thanks, he poured out the drinks then settled himself behind his desk, social niceties dealt with, and ready to talk business. 

“Before you say anything,” he began, glancing sternly at Jim, “I need to get this straight. I understand that you have bonded with this young man, even though you insisted that you would never take another Guide, right?” 

At Jim’s nod, he continued reasonably, “It’s not that I’m not overjoyed to have you back, my friend, but was that a wise move? I mean, I understand that Guide Sandburg is completely untrained whatever his natural capabilities, and even more importantly, didn’t want the job in the first place?” 

Fighting down his natural instinct to leap angrily to his Guide’s defence, Jim recognised that the Captain wasn’t being intentionally confrontational, and Blair’s gentle hand on his forearm kept him in his seat as he responded in a somewhat strained tone. 

“You’re right to a certain extent, Captain. Blair had no intention of applying for a Guide placement. He had a brilliant career mapped out at Rainier. Hell, he’s already got his Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees, and only needs to submit his dissertation to get his doctorate. Isn’t that right, Chief?” he added, turning to Blair and resting his hand over his Guide’s in comfort. 

After gracing Jim with a swift smile of gratitude, Blair decided he should take over the recitation, because he really didn’t care for being discussed as if he weren’t present. 

“Yes, Captain Banks. It’s true that we were both coerced into a bond, and it’s also true that I had no intention of becoming a Guide. But it happened whether Jim and I like it or not. 

“I admit that I have had no formal training, and never intended to, but the majority of my studies at Rainier’s Anthropology Department have involved aspects of Sentinel studies, as does my PhD dissertation. It might be theoretical for the most part, but I’m not completely without knowledge,” and he fixed the large, dark-skinned man with his best appealing expression, willing him to understand and believe. 

Meeting the younger man’s look with a speculative one of his own, Simon took a minute or two to get his thoughts and impressions into order before speaking. 

Finally he sat back in his seat, and rested the palms of his large hands flat on the desk in front of him. Looking from Blair to Jim and back again, he said, “Well, that’s as may be, kid, but the fact remains that you have zero experience in police work either, and that worries me even more. 

“Now, I happen to know that Carolyn has returned to Cascade, Jim, and is looking to get her old job back in forensics. Apparently the San Fran post didn’t suit her, and nor did her new partner. 

“I know that you two parted company on less than cordial terms, but couldn’t you just consider taking her on as Guide again? Then Sandburg here could go back to his studies – well, at least he could find another Sentinel in a more compatible occupation...” and that’s as far as he got before Jim broke in, his tone reflecting his hurt and amazement at his friend and boss’ words. 

“Jeez, Simon! Don’t you understand _anything_ about a true bond after all this time? I can’t believe you’d want to push me back into a partnership with Carolyn, even if she is a good police officer. As a wife she left a lot to be desired, and as a Guide she was worse than useless! For heaven’s sake, she was so low on the Guide empathy rating scale that she could probably get by on the occasional aspirin after the breaking of the bond! Trouble was, she was just strong enough to trigger the full bond in me, which is why I so nearly died! 

“If it hadn’t been for Blair here, I would definitely be dead, because I was fading so fast. I’m just so sorry that it took my father’s machinations to kidnap an innocent man and sentence him to a life bound to me. He is now no more capable of surviving on his own than I was. _That_ is what a true bond is all about...” and he grasped Blair’s hand, trying desperately to comfort the smaller man whose emotions were once again threatening to overtake him, distress leaking through their link. 

With shock and sorrow warring with disbelief on his face, Simon gave himself another long moment to respond, finally accepting that as a mere _mundane_ , he had seriously underestimated the physical and mental effects that bonding induced in both Sentinel and Guide. Truth be told, he had preferred to turn a blind eye to the many occasions when Jim had had real trouble in the field, believing that it was the fault of the man’s own stubbornness rather than the failings of Carolyn as a Guide. Faced with the unvarnished truth, he had no option but to accept this ‘hippy wannabe’ if Jim was to resume working in the MCU. 

With a deep sigh of resignation, he ground out, “OK. OK! So I believe you, and I’m sorry not to have understood the situation properly before, Jim. I’m still not happy about an untrained civilian working alongside you, but if that’s what it takes, then it’ll have to do. 

“Now, I suggest you take Sandburg down to Admin and get his paperwork sorted, and as soon as he gets his ride-along pass you can start breaking him in with some lighter cases, OK? Dismissed!” and he picked up a file resting on his desk, his own discomfort causing him to deliberately ignore the pair as they rose to leave the office and make their way back across the bullpen to Jim’s desk. 

However, easily detecting the tension in the sturdy shoulders beneath his protective arm, Jim steered Blair out and into the empty breakroom instead, intending to give the younger man a chance to regain his badly shaken equilibrium in private. 

Closing the door behind them, Jim pushed the smaller man into a seat, and busied himself with getting them two cups of coffee, even though he knew it was generally so execrable that they probably wouldn’t drink it. 

Placing the hot mug before Blair, who was staring fixedly at the scratched table in front of him, Jim sat beside him before saying ruefully, “Well, that went well – not! I’m sorry, Junior. You didn’t need to be treated like that, and I have to say I’m both surprised and hurt that Simon would even think of suggesting I dump you for Carolyn! I really thought he knew better than that. I mean, I could believe it of someone like Captain McDaniel in Arson, because he’s a regular asshole with no finer sensitivities at all. But I’ve worked in MCU for several years now, and I thought I knew him...” and he reached over to cover Blair’s clasped hands. 

After a moment, Blair looked up and met his concerned gaze, and Jim was struck by the resolve in the younger man’s expression, unhappy though it was otherwise. 

“It’s OK, Jim. I mean, yes, it was hurtful, and I wasn’t happy to be dismissed like that, but to be truthful, it’s no more than I expected. I mean, I hardly look like the poster boy for a police recruitment campaign. I look more like the type to get arrested for possession!” and he chuckled a little disconsolately at the pitiful attempt at jocularity. 

“I know it’s going to be hard for me, but no more so than for you having to work with a nerdy academic. Could be good for one thing though,” he continued bitterly. “At least it should get you plenty of sympathy and understanding...” and he was mortified when a single tear dropped onto their clasped hands, not having intended to give in yet again to his bruised feelings. 

“OK, that’s it,” muttered Jim, heart clenching once again with the force of his compassion for the distraught Guide. 

“Come on, Chief. We’re going down to Admin to get your paperwork done, then I’m taking you home. We can’t do much anyhow without your pass, so any further ‘induction’ can wait ‘til tomorrow. We’re going to play hookey and take some time to ourselves. 

“After all,” he continued with a grim smile, “I’ve been off for over a year now, so one extra day won’t make any difference.” 

Looking up to meet his eyes with a watery smile Blair whispered, “Sorry, man. Thought I’d got a better handle on my emotions than that. I’ll be OK – as long as I don’t have to drink this stuff!” he added with a brave attempt at repartee, indicating the sludgy coffee. “I’d have thought there would have been more than a few cases of illicit poisoning going on here?” 

Laughing out loud in appreciation, Jim removed both mugs and poured the contents down the sink as he said, “You’re so right, Junior! Now, let’s get your papers done and dusted, then you choose where we go from there....”  


\------------------------------  


Later that afternoon saw the pair once again crossing the campus at Rainier, Blair having decided that they might as well clear out his office since they had a few spare hours. 

It had taken him a while to fill out all his paperwork at the PD, and he was photographed and fingerprinted for the PD employee’s database. He also had to provide a urine sample for testing for illegal substances, and he murmured to Jim that it was a good thing he hadn’t drunk the breakroom coffee after all, or else he would likely have tested positive. 

Having been advised that his ride-along pass would be ready for collection in the morning, he and Jim left the PD intending to grab some lunch at one of Jim’s favourite haunts. 

“Wonderburger! How on earth can you eat that stuff?” Blair queried, only half-jokingly. “You might as well inject the fat straight into your veins!” 

“Wouldn’t be so much fun, though,” responded Jim with a grin. “Come on now, Chief – it’s a treat, OK?” and he ordered the bacon double cheeseburger with everything, mouth already watering in anticipation. 

Giving Blair a quick, one-armed hug, he continued, “It’s even more so now, Chief, because thanks to you I know I’m going to enjoy every mouthful, so don’t begrudge me a little fun!” 

Grinning in his turn at this evidence of Jim’s lighter side, Blair shook his head but ordered the spicy veggie burger, also with everything, and Jim was quietly pleased when his Guide ate the lot.  


\----------------------  


Clearing out Blair’s tiny cubbyhole of an office didn’t actually take them that long, although it was a fairly distressing activity for Blair. Jim was openly supportive, though, realising that the small, overcrowded room represented all the years Blair had dedicated to studying and teaching at Rainier. 

Packing up all the ex-grad student’s books and papers took up the most boxes, and Blair worriedly asked Jim if he was really OK with his Guide having them in his room back at the loft, since he was half expecting the other man to insist on them going down into the basement storage area. 

“Sure I’m sure, kiddo,” Jim replied, squeezing the other man’s shoulder. “I want to get you some bookshelves anyway, and you could do with a proper desk in your room. And there’s not that many more artefacts either. I was kind of expecting a lot more.” 

“Oh no. Not that I didn’t want to, but I didn’t have the room – or the money, for that matter – to collect more. Most of what I have is already at the loft, so I don’t expect you to find room for these things also. I’m just grateful that you’re letting me invade your space so much.” 

“No problem, Chief. And it’s your home now. ‘Mi casa, su casa’ and all that! Anyhow, if we’re done here, let’s get back to the loft, and then perhaps we’ll have time to get down to the store to pick up some furniture, OK?” and he was surprised and extraordinarily pleased when Blair hugged him spontaneously in gratitude.  


\-------------------------------  


**Wednesday morning, Cascade PD:**  


Blair was noticeably less nervous the following morning as they drove to the PD, even though Jim could tell he was still far from being calm and collected. As he had explained over breakfast, at least now he knew what to expect up to a point, and hopefully could now recognise at least one or two friendly faces. 

“I know that I have to prove myself, man,” he declared. “I had to learn fast that fitting into a new environment doesn’t come easy. But it’s not like I haven’t got experience at that. I mean, just because I’ve spent the past several years at Rainier, doesn’t mean that was the norm for me while I was growing up. Any formal schooling I managed to get always entailed new faces and sometimes new cultures depending where we ended up. And I always found that I was the youngest, shortest and smartest, and believe me, it’s no joke!” he added unhappily. And Jim, who had glimpsed flashes of Blair’s experiences during their bonding, was sadly aware that his Guide’s words were all too true. 

“Well, you’ll have backup this time, Chief, so hopefully it won’t be so hard on you. After all, I’ll bet you’re the most highly educated person in the building, so it shouldn’t take long for folks to appreciate your gifts both in intelligence and guiding ability. 

“And those that don’t aren’t worth your losing any sleep over,” he added with a frown. 

“Talking about sleep, kiddo, you seemed to be OK last night?” he continued, curious and not a little disappointed since Blair had remained quietly in his own room for the whole night, and Jim realised that he was already growing addicted to holding the smaller man while he slept. 

Oblivious for once of Jim’s slightly wistful tone, Blair smiled warmly at him as he replied, “Oh, I was fine, Jim, thanks for asking! I think it was having all my stuff around me again, you know? The familiarity makes it kind of comforting, so I shouldn’t be invading your bed every five minutes! I’m really sorry about doing that...” he added sincerely, a tiny frown appearing between his brows. 

“Oh I don’t know, Chief. I was kind of getting used to having my very own teddy bear again. Never think you have to apologise for coming to me when you need me for whatever reason, Blair,” Jim said softly as he reached over to pat Blair’s jean-clad knee. 

“Thanks man. That means a lot to me,” responded the younger man, and they both retreated into a comfortable if introspective silence for the last few minutes of the journey.  


\------------------------  


Their first port of call on arriving at the PD was to go up to Admin to pick up Blair’s pass. As he placed it around his neck, Blair’s emotions were ambivalent insofar as although it meant that he now had visible proof of his official role within the PD, it also symbolised the end of his life as a Teaching Assistant, and that was upsetting in itself. 

Realising what his Guide must be feeling, Jim slipped an arm around his waist as they made their way to the elevator to take them up to the sixth floor and the MCU. 

“It’s OK to feel sad, Chief. But for what it’s worth, I’m truly grateful to have you here with me. I’m always going to appreciate your importance to me, and perhaps eventually getting your doctorate will be a bit of compensation for you.” 

As they stepped into the car, Blair looked up at him, expression sad but resolute as he responded, “It means a lot, Jim, and I’m grateful to you also for considering it.” 

Then, visibly shaking himself, he continued more positively, “I’m going to look at this as a challenge! It’s the chance to study a closed society from the inside after all, and any anthropologist worth his or her salt would jump at the opportunity. You can take the man out of the Anthropology Department, but you can’t take the anthropologist out of the man!” and he offered Jim the widest smile the other man had yet seen, which pleased Jim no end.  


\----------------------  


When they arrived at the MCU bullpen, they received cheerful waves and greetings from Joel and Megan, and were also waylaid by two other people who Jim introduced as fellow detectives Henri ‘H’ Brown and Brian Rafe. As Blair held out his hand to each in turn, he quickly ‘read’ them and was pleased and relieved with what he ascertained. 

‘H’ was a cheerful and outgoing dark skinned man with a penchant for bright Hawaiian shirts, and as he shook Blair’s proffered hand he grinned widely, saying, “Pleased to meet you, babe. Surprising as it may seem, we’re all glad to see this miserable hard-ass back in the bullpen, and we’ve got you to thank for that. 

“I guess we’ll be losing our status as top performers again, though, Bri!” he added with a cheeky sidelong glance at Jim, and nudging his more slender companion in the ribs none-too-gently. 

As the other more reserved man grunted a little in assumed irritation, he also shook Blair’s hand and greeted him more formally. “Pleased to meet you, Guide Sandburg. You’ll have to forgive Brown’s lack of manners. It’s something I’m working hard to correct – like his dress sense,” he continued resignedly, but with a decided twinkle in his eyes belying his serious expression. 

Blair smiled at the handsome and dapper young man and included H in his response as he said, “I’m really pleased to meet you guys also. It’s good to know that Jim has such good people to work with, and it’s a relief to me that there are others who understand where he’s coming from. I’ll try my best to live up to expectations,” he finished, blushing a little and hoping he hadn’t made an ass of himself already. 

He needn’t have worried, though, as they both grinned at him before heading to their own desks saying, “No problemo, babe!” and, “You’ll be fine,” as took their leave. 

The rest of the morning passed quickly as Jim showed Blair the ropes when it came to preparing reports and searching the PD databases. He was more that gratified to discover that not only was the younger man a fast and accurate typist, but he was something of a computer expert also, and was flicking through the system almost faster than Jim could speak. As Blair shyly admitted, research was one thing a grad student excelled at, so he hoped to be of use to Jim whilst working appropriate cases. 

Grinning delightedly, Jim was already envisaging pushing the bulk of his report writing onto Blair’s competent shoulders. It was a part of his job that he had always hated, and begrudged the inordinate amount of time it took up due to him using a ‘hunt and peck’ typing style. Perhaps now he could progress from the likes of ‘Saw suspect snatch purse, chased and arrested him. End of story’. 

When Simon arrived around mid-morning, having attended a routine meeting with the Chief of Police and the Commissioner, he merely nodded amicably to Jim and Blair in passing and continued to his office where his secretary, Rhonda, had placed his most pressing paperwork for his immediate attention. Having caught up with said paperwork, he called Jim and Blair into his office and waited while they seated themselves in front of his desk. 

Noting the young Guide’s pallor and the way he was chewing nervously at his full lower lip, Simon felt a pang of guilt, knowing that his attitude the previous day had undoubtedly contributed to the young man’s unease. However, deciding that dwelling on it would serve no useful purpose, he started straight in by saying, “Well, Guide Sandburg – Blair – all your paperwork and your samples have checked out OK, and I see that you’ve already picked up your pass. Has Jim begun your basic training on our IT systems?” He was both surprised and pleased when Jim jumped straight in saying, “Sure have, Simon, and you should see how fast he can type! He was checking out the databases even before I could explain the systems, Captain. And as for correcting reports...” and he tailed off suggestively as he turned his affectionate gaze on his now blushing partner. 

Grinning in his turn, Simon rumbled, “So now you have even more reason to regain your number one spot for arrests and convictions, Jim! No more excuses for badly-written reports, and double-quick internet searches! Excellent! 

“Blair, my son, I think that, with your help, we may well be looking at the next ‘Cop of the Year’” and he laughed out loud at the overt irritation on his detective’s face. 

“I don’t think so!” growled Jim, but his heart wasn’t in it as he noted the pleasure on Blair’s face, so he grinned instead as he added, “Of course, should there be a ‘Partnership of the Year’?” and he directed a quizzically raised eyebrow at his boss. 

Happy to join in the light-hearted banter for a moment, Simon chuckled as he replied; “Now there’s a thought. I might well put that to the Chief and the Commissioner! But now, I think it’s time you two got back to work, don’t you?” and he assumed a mock-threatening expression as he glanced towards the door. 

Snickering in his turn, Jim sketched him a half salute, and steered a faintly bemused Blair out of the office and back to their desk.  


\------------------------  


Over the next few days, Sentinel and Guide eased their way into a comfortable working routine with Jim more than impressed with Blair’s commitment both to their partnership and the sheer effort he put in to establishing his role within the department. He knew that he shouldn’t be surprised; having learned during bonding that the ‘Sandburg work ethic’ was deeply ingrained in the younger man; and the steeper the learning curve, the more eager Blair was to accept the challenge. 

Word soon got around that Jim’s new Guide was something of a wizard on the computer, and also had the knack of finding connections between apparently diverse sources of information to come up with workable solutions, such that he was soon being approached by detectives from other departments. Sure, there were still some who considered that as an academic ‘pretty boy’ he didn’t belong in the PD, but those voices tended to be drowned out by the plaudits of his growing band of admirers. 

However, when praised or thanked for his insight, Blair remained unassuming even as he blushed with pleasure, believing that he was doing nothing special. As he explained to Jim on one occasion, “It’s just a combination of useful talents is all, man, that I’m lucky enough to have. I mean, my empathy helps me a lot with intuition and such, but most of my conclusions are based on the sort of research work I’ve put in over the years studying archaeology and anthropology. In a way, a lot of the sites I had to analyse were very similar to modern crime scenes. It’s just that mine had usually been vacant for several hundred years!” 

On the domestic front, Blair was also much more settled, and happy to take on his share of the chores, even though he reluctantly concluded that his idea of cleaning was never going to measure up to Sentinel inspection. 

The two men discovered that they actually enjoyed their shared conversations and were comfortable in each others’ company, such that a real friendship was developing between them. The downside, however, as far as Jim was concerned, was that Blair had obviously taken his comment about not being Jim’s type to heart, and even if he did secretly harbour feelings of sexual attraction towards Jim he automatically suppressed them, apparently content with friendship alone. He also became adept at hiding any such hints with what Jim secretly referred to as ‘mental obfuscation’ when they linked, so that Jim’s frustration with himself for instigating the situation in the first place knew no bounds. 

The expansion of the Sandburg ‘comfort zone’ also meant that many of his anxieties had receded to the point where he was virtually nightmare-free now, so he had never again approached Jim to share his bed, much to the Sentinel’s chagrin. On the other hand, Blair was becoming much more relaxed about the whole subject of touch and physical contact. He realised that not only was it necessary to reaffirm the bond between Sentinel and Guide, but it was also a simple and pleasurable means of providing and receiving mutual comfort and support such that he would even instigate a hug or cuddle himself on occasion, and Jim was hardly going to complain about that. 

Having discussed in depth the ramifications of being bonded, they had worked out a plan for practicing short periods of separation. Although Blair was working diligently on his dissertation in his room some evenings, on occasion he needed to visit Rainier’s library for further information, so Jim would take the opportunity to visit the gym for a good workout. As long as they were apart no longer than two or three hours at most, neither of them suffered much by way of discomfort or ill effects. 

However, once or twice Blair had returned from the campus noticeably down, usually after having had coffee with some of his TA and student friends, and Jim was ruefully aware that the younger man was contemplating – and perhaps regretting - a life now lost to him. On those occasions, Jim found that a beer and a prolonged cuddle session in front of the TV usually worked to dispel his Guide’s gloom, since it wasn’t in Blair’s nature to be despondent for long. 

All in all, things seemed to be settling down satisfactorily for Sentinel and Guide, but inevitably their ‘honeymoon’ period had to come to an end, and it happened in no good way.  


\------------------------  


**Part 3: Stumbling Blocks:**  


**Three weeks later, MCU:**  


Although Simon Banks had been loath to immediately expose his new Sentinel and Guide team to particularly violent crime scenes in order to allow Blair to get a little more acclimatised to his role as a working Guide, inevitably the time came when they were called out to a very messy scene which in this case had all the markers of a gang-related drive-by shooting. 

Knowing he had to keep his emotions and roiling stomach under control for Jim’s sake, Blair had spent most of the early morning drive to the scene murmuring his favourite mantra and trying to find his centre. He knew Jim sympathised with him, but the detective had a job to do, and coddling a queasy Guide didn’t enter into it. 

Telling himself to get over it and get a grip, once out of the jeep he grasped Jim’s bicep in automatic need to connect and instinctively assumed his ‘guide tone’, quietly grounding the Sentinel with touch, scent and voice and guiding him through the systematic use of his senses to search for the smallest bit of usable evidence. 

Although the sight of the bullet-riddled bodies on the sidewalk was almost enough to make him throw up on the spot, Blair managed to swallow down the bile that threatened to choke him, and, averting his eyes from the bloodied corpses, he kept up his soft monologue. He was extraordinarily proud when Jim was able to locate two spent bullets which had thus far eluded the forensic team, and also catalogue the faint scent of a bespoke aftershave which wasn’t present on the victims or the investigators, but could have emanated from one of their attackers. 

“Oh man, that’s so cool!” Blair congratulated his partner, once out of sight of the bodies which were now being bagged for transport to the ME’s office. “I’d read – hell, I’ve _written_ \- about how good Sentinels are at crime scenes, but to actually witness it first–hand! Oh, man! I’m so proud of you!” and he grinned up at Jim, face alight with admiration. 

“And I’m proud of _you,_ Chief!” replied Jim, ignoring the puzzled expression that flashed across his Guide’s mobile features. “For an introduction to a serious crime scene, this was pretty horrific by anyone’s standards, but you managed to keep it together and do your job. And I have to say that I’ve never felt so confident in my backup before, kiddo. I knew I could rely on your guidance, and was happy to utilise my senses to the full. Thanks, Chief!” and he pulled the smaller man in for a prolonged hug which lasted until the ambulance moved off and the forensics team moved in again to finalise recording the scene.  


\-----------------------  


Back at the PD, Blair was torn between a natural sympathy for the victims of the shooting and a sense of euphoria despite the pang of unease he felt at the apparent contradiction. Yes, it was terrible that three young men had been gunned down in their prime, but, thanks to his Sentinel’s – and, in part, his own – efforts, there was a strong possibility that their murderers could be brought to justice. 

Fully cognisant of his young partner’s adrenaline high and turbulent emotions, Jim kept close while they were debriefed by a genuinely appreciative Captain Banks, and quietly stood guard while they wrote up their initial reports, knowing that it wouldn’t be long until Blair crashed, and needing to be there for him when it happened. It was especially important that Blair manage to get his act together again quickly so they could follow up on the investigation before any potential leads went cold. 

Sure enough, as soon as he had signed his printed report, Blair suddenly paled dramatically and whispered, “Uh, Jim...uh...just going to the bathroom, OK?” and even before Jim could reply, he shot up out of his seat and strode across the bullpen, pushing open the door and hurrying to the restroom, accelerating as he neared his goal. 

Standing up in his turn and offering a slight smile to reassure the one or two worried and curious looks cast in his direction, Jim followed in his partner’s footsteps and reached the restroom in time to hear Blair lose his breakfast in the nearest cubicle. 

Squatting down beside the smaller man as he hugged the porcelain toilet bowl, Jim gently rubbed the heaving back until Blair had nothing left to bring up, and slowly sat back with a groan. 

Dabbing his sweaty face gratefully with the wet paper towels Jim handed to him, he peered up with red-rimmed and teary eyes and whispered raspily, “I’m so sorry, Jim. You must think I’m a total wimp! I didn’t mean to lose it like that, I swear! What will Simon and the others think?” 

“They’ll think that you’re reacting perfectly normally to your first major crime scene, babe,” Jim replied firmly. “No one who has any sense of decency or humanity would have managed any better. Some folks couldn’t even have stayed there like you did, let alone do your job. You’ve nothing to be ashamed of, Chief. Nothing at all!” and he gripped the younger man’s nape with a firm but gentle grasp, willing his Guide to link with him and believe. 

Long moments later, Blair opened his eyes and met Jim’s patient but slightly quizzical gaze. Offering the older man a small but genuine smile he said, “Thanks, Jim. I needed that. I still feel a bit weird, but that helped a lot.” And he held his hands out to his partner who pulled him to his feet, smiling softly in his turn as he steered Blair out of the restroom and back to the bullpen, secretly prepared to kick into touch anyone who so much as dared make an adverse comment at his Guide’s expense.  


\----------------------  


On returning to their desks, they saw that Megan and Joel were there waiting for them, and Megan addressed them immediately with a wide grin. 

“Hey, fellas, so you’re working the drive-by? Just wanted to let you know that Joel and me have pegged the vics as being members of the ‘38 Specials’ working out of Bayside.” 

At Jim’s quizzical expression, she continued chirpily, “They’re a relatively new gang, Jimbo, who didn’t really start making waves until after you...er...went on leave...” she tailed off a little uncomfortably. 

“Took leave of my senses, you mean,” responded Jim wryly, but with a grin so that his listeners knew he wasn’t offended. 

“Um, yeah, that’s right, mate,” Megan replied, looking relieved. “Anyway, there’s been word on the street that they’ve been treading on a few toes lately – muscling in on other blokes’ turf – and it looks as if there might be a gang war in the making. If you want, me and Joel can hit the street and see what we can learn, if you want to follow up on the forensic evidence?” 

“Supposing Simon agrees, then yeah, that sounds like a plan,” replied Jim thoughtfully. “If there’s a likelihood of gang warfare in Bayside, we need to come down on it real fast. I remember the last time it erupted a few years back when I was still working Vice, and it escalated to wide-spread violence almost overnight.” 

“Yeah, I remember that,” mused Joel with a sad frown on his normally cheerful face. “I was still Captain of the Bomb Squad then, and there were some pretty nasty devices left around to deal with. One or two went off also...” and he tailed off in worried retrospection for a moment. 

“Right then,” said Jim briskly. “I’ll square it with Simon, and you two can hit the streets. Looks like you and me’ll be chasing the forensics people, Chief. And following up on the autopsies,” he added gently, with a sidelong glance at his Guide, unsurprised but saddened to see Blair lose what little colour he had regained. 

However, Blair had no intention of showing himself up again in front of his colleagues, so he offered a somewhat sickly grin before saying, “Sure, Jim. Guess we need to get moving then?” 

And Jim, inordinately proud of his partner’s small display of determination, patted him on the shoulder as he said, “You got it, kiddo! See you later guys,” as Megan and Joel took their leave and headed for the door.  


\------------------------------  


Although Jim was well aware that the PD’s overstretched Forensics Department could hardly be expected to work miracles, he still couldn’t prevent himself from venting in frustration when he was told how long it would take to analyse all the evidence collected at the scene. 

To make matters worse, when one of the technicians told him that the two bullets he had recovered were virtually useless as evidence on account of being so damaged on impact, and that they would have to wait for better samples to be extracted from the bodies, he was ready to blow. 

Snarling at the hapless tech, he growled, “How the hell do you expect me to work like this? I might just as well rely on guesswork!” and he swung away from the man in fury, only to be stopped by Blair, who, despite being as white as a sheet and nervous again to boot, pressed both palms firmly on Jim’s chest. Determinedly meeting Jim’s furious gaze, he held his ground, saying quietly but distinctly, “Come on, Jim, man! It’s not Eric’s fault they’re understaffed! And the evidence from the bullets will only be of use once we’ve found a weapon to match it to, so we can always work it from that angle. And besides, how long does it take for autopsies to be completed?” 

Staring down at his smaller partner, now more bemused than angry, Jim finally took a cleansing breath and replied more calmly, “OK, Chief. You’re right of course. Sorry, Eric,” he continued, addressing the young tech. “That was uncalled for. I know you’ve been stretched recently...” only to be taken aback at the man’s response. 

“That’s OK, Detective Ellison. We do understand how frustrating it is for you guys – believe me, none of us like working under pressure because it only leads to mistakes. But things should improve soon, because we’ve got a proper Head of Department again. Lieutenant Plummer’s back!” and he smiled widely, only for his grin to fade into puzzlement at the astounded look on Jim’s face. 

“Er, well, I’ll be getting back to the lab, then,” he muttered, making his escape and leaving Blair to deal with his very unhappy Sentinel. 

“Are you OK, Jim?” he enquired anxiously. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost! What’s wrong, man?” 

“Not here, Chief!” muttered Jim grimly. “Shit, I’d completely forgotten what Simon told us when you first arrived. This is going to be difficult...” and he took Blair’s arm to steer him gently to the nearest elevator, intending to go back to the MCU to find somewhere private where they could discuss the situation without being interrupted.  


\----------------------  


Arriving back at the sixth floor, Jim immediately checked available empty rooms and came up with a vacant interview room into which he pushed his partner before shutting the door and engaging the ‘Occupied’ sign. 

Once Blair had taken a seat, he pulled up another so that they were sitting knee-to-knee, and looked intently into his Guide’s wide and worried eyes. 

“I’m sorry for the dramatics, Chief,” he began, “but I’ve got to confess this has taken the wind out of my sails. I mean, I had honestly totally forgotten Simon telling us that Carolyn wanted back in the PD. When nothing happened immediately, I completely dismissed her from my thoughts, because we had far more pressing things to deal with. 

“But now I’m worried, Blair, I admit. I know you’ve learned a bit about our relationship through the bond, but it’s nothing compared to the real thing, I promise you. That woman’s _dangerous_ , babe! All she ever wanted was to be the guide to an Alpha Sentinel, even though she didn’t have the capability. But I thought I loved her – and that she loved me – so I agreed to bond with her on our wedding night. It’s easily done during sex, as you know only too well, Chief. 

“It was the worst thing I could possibly have done. Although it had little effect on her, as I was to find out later to my detriment, it triggered the real thing in me, so that when she got tired of playing at being the dutiful wife and Guide, she just skipped out and left me in the lurch, as you found out to your cost, babe. 

“And now she’s back,” and Jim took a moment to rub his hand over his face as if to erase his dark thoughts. 

When Blair took the opportunity to grab that hand as he lowered it, to hold it and stroke the soft skin over the knuckles with a gentle touch, he looked up again to meet the younger man’s sympathetic gaze, and continued. 

“I’m so sorry, Chief, but I know for sure she’s going to make a play for me. It’s not that I think I’m any great catch as a husband, Blair. Don’t get me wrong! I didn’t meet her standards before, and I sure don’t want to now. I think that it’s the status she wants. The other poor fool in San Fran didn’t meet up with her expectations, so she wants in again as the Guide to an Alpha. 

“But I don’t want her, babe. I swear!” and he reached around to grasp Blair’s nape, gazing into the younger man’s eyes in an effort to convey his sincerity. 

Even before Blair answered, Jim could easily read the conflict in his Guide’s mind as Blair battled with his need to assert the legitimacy of his position against his inbuilt sense of insecurity. Jim realised that if Blair had been coming from a position of strength, having chosen to bond with Jim, there would be no problem at all. Carolyn was an ineffectual Guide at best, and the friendship Jim and Blair already shared was far stronger than the so-called connubial ties of his doomed marriage. However, the fact that their bond was forced and unsolicited considerably weakened the reluctant Guide’s resolve. 

“I’m so sorry, Jim, but I’m having a really hard time getting my head around this,” Blair finally answered. “I do believe you mean what you say, truly, man. And I think that under normal circumstances we could ignore her challenge. But I would be lying to you if I said I’m not worried. Whatever her shortcomings, she was your first bonded Guide, and I was forced on you by your father. 

“I want to fight for you, Jim, but I’m not convinced it’s the best thing for you, and that’s what counts, man. You’re invaluable to society as an Alpha Sentinel, Jim, and we have to consider everything from that perspective.” 

“If you believe that, then we’re already lost, Blair! I need to know that you’ll fight for me – for us! Tell me, Blair! Tell me you don’t want us!” and Jim put everything he had into conveying his sincerity for the younger man. He would have given so much to be able to bring out the ‘L’ word, but realised that to throw a declaration of love into the mix at this point would completely unhinge Blair’s already shaky equanimity. 

Chin wobbling with the clear need to cry, Blair met his gaze despite himself. 

“I believe you, Jim. And I’ll try. I swear I’ll try...” he managed to blurt out before his resolve deserted him and he dissolved into tears, hating himself for his weakness.  


\------------------------  


While Jim and Blair were having their discussion, down in the Forensics Department’s female restroom, the object of their debate gazed assessingly at her reflection in the mirror over the hand basins. 

Lieutenant Carolyn Plummer knew that she was attractive, despite a somewhat stern and direct manner, and she worked hard to keep her figure trim and fit. She was certainly no air-head, having always known exactly what she wanted out of life, and quite prepared to do whatever was required to fulfil her wishes. She knew that she was a damned good police officer, and had deserved her promotion to Head of Forensics: a fact that no one on their right mind would deny. 

However, once having attained her goal, Carolyn had set her sights on another – that of becoming the Guide to the PD’s premier Alpha Sentinel, Detective Jim Ellison. She was aware that her qualifications for such a role were minimal, but was equally certain that such a strong Alpha could easily balance out her shortcomings, and he also came from a background of considerable social and financial standing. It didn’t hurt that he was buff and very attractive, either. 

All in all it had seemed like the perfect culmination of all her desires when she wedded, bedded and bonded with Jim, only to find that things started to fall apart within weeks of their marriage. 

Looking back, she was prepared to take some of the blame, but most of it she laid squarely on her ex-husband’s shoulders, considering that he had been far too self-centred and an unbending perfectionist to boot. 

Now, however, she had learned the hard way how unsatisfactory a bond with a lesser mate could be, so had abandoned her new position and partner in San Francisco, fully intending to re-establish herself in Cascade, and win back the Sentinel she should never have left. 

No matter that Jim had almost died after she had walked out on him – that was purely down to his stubbornness in her opinion – it was simply fortunate that Ellison Snr. had dragged some innocent in off the street to bolster his son’s wayward senses until such time as she could re-take her place at his side. And what happened to said innocent after she had won Jim back didn’t concern her in the least. 

She had deliberately kept a low profile until her reinstatement as Head of Forensics had been confirmed, but now she was once again in a strong position and was prepared to make her move. Nodding decisively at her reflection, she straightened her well-cut jacket and turned to leave the restroom, determined not to waste another minute in beginning her campaign to win Jim back.  


\------------------------  


Back up on the sixth floor, Blair had managed to pull himself together somewhat, and now peeked sheepishly up at Jim from beneath tear-damp lashes. 

“I’m sorry, man. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately. I can’t even remember when I cried last, and now I seem to be bursting into tears every five minutes! My Mom would be burning sage all over and forcing me to meditate for hours on end to regain my centre,” he continued softly. 

“I wonder where she is?” he added, almost to himself. “It’s been so long, she won’t even know about what happened to me! She’s going to have a cow when she finds out!” he finished wryly. 

Pulling his Guide into a hug, Jim responded truthfully. “Don’t beat yourself up, Chief. Just because we’d been working things out between us pretty well so far, doesn’t mean that there won’t be occasional stumbling blocks to negotiate. It would be hard enough for any newly established partnership to deal with the events of the last few hours without Carolyn’s reappearance thrown into the mix. Under the circumstances, I think a few tears are nothing to worry about, babe. At least you’re not running away screaming!” he ended softly, and lowered his head to drop a kiss on the crown of the curly head resting against his chest. 

“No, Big Guy, I won’t do that. Not unless you want me to,” Blair whispered in reply. 

And he was greatly relieved when Jim answered firmly, “Never happen, Chief!” before giving the younger man a final squeeze and releasing him. 

“Come on, babe! Time to get back to work. Let’s see if Megs and Joel have reported in yet. And I want to check with Dan Wolf the ME to see when the autopsies are scheduled for. The sooner we can get moving on this case, the better...” and he steered his partner out of the room and back to the bullpen to resume their investigation.  


\-----------------------  


Seeing that Megan and Joel had yet to check in, Blair seated himself in front of Jim’s computer to pull up all available information regarding known gangs in Cascade from the PD’s database in order to get a handle on what they could be facing. 

Meanwhile, Jim picked up the phone, intending to call the ME’s office when he was distracted by a well-known scent. Snapping his head up to gaze towards the bullpen doors in consternation he muttered, “Oh shit! Not now! I don’t need this!” and he slammed the handset back down in its cradle. 

Blair’s puzzled expression changed to one of distress at the words, knowing full well what had caused Jim’s outburst, and he swallowed hard as the doors swung open to reveal a tall, attractive and very focussed woman who strode directly towards them, barely pausing to acknowledge the few greetings that followed her across the room. 

Smiling widely, she stopped in front of Jim, and gripped his upper arms for a moment before hugging him warmly and reaching up to kiss his cheek. 

“Jimmy! You look so good! I’m so pleased to see you so well!” she gushed. 

Her smile barely faltered as he replied coldly, “Hello Caro. Yes, I’m fine now, but no thanks to you. I gather you’re back in charge of Forensics now?” 

“Why, yes, I am!” she responded, purposely ignoring the first comment. “It’s a shame things had been let slide there, but I’ll soon get everything shipshape again--” only to be rudely interrupted by Jim’s sharp retort. 

“That’s good. I need the evidence for last night’s drive-by a.s.a.p!” 

The expression in her eyes hardened fractionally as she replied, saccharine-sweetly, “Oh now, Jimmy! You’ve been watching too much ‘CSI’! It’s only on TV where results come back instantly you know! But now that I’m back in charge, I _can_ assure you that our department will respond as quickly as humanly possible!” 

“OK, fine. Then I’ll just have to curb my impatience, won’t I? Just as long as I do get it before this whole gang situation blows up in our faces,” Jim responded ungraciously, plainly trying to dismiss the woman. 

Unfortunately, she was having none of it. No one could accuse Carolyn of being anything but tenacious, and she controlled her instinctive snippy response with a determined effort. 

“So, Jimmy,” she almost crooned, getting as close to fluttering her eyelashes at Jim as she could honestly manage. “Now that I’m back in town, could we go out for dinner some time? I’ve missed your company, Jimmy...” she tailed off suggestively. 

“Obviously not that much,” growled Jim, glaring around him as if daring the other occupants of the bullpen to listen in. 

“Sorry, Caro. We’ve burned all our bridges, and I have a real Guide now. One I can trust!” and he turned to smile softly at Blair, who was observing the interchange with a distinctly anxious expression clouding his attractive face. 

Anger now barely contained, Carolyn couldn’t prevent her automatic response as she hissed, “Oh come on, Jimmy! You can’t possibly tell me that this ‘nobody’ means as much to you as your wife – well, former wife? For heaven’s sake, he was only one of your father’s ‘fixes’ wasn’t he? I mean to say, Jimmy, what _is_ he anyway?” 

Just then, even before Jim or Blair could respond, another voice cut across them as the newly-arrived Megan butted in. 

“Oh, hi, Carolyn! I guess you won’t have met our newest working Guide yet?” and the irrepressible Aussie wrapped her arm around Blair’s shoulders, pulling him forward with her. 

“This here’s Blair Sandburg, Premier Grade Guide to Alpha Sentinel Ellison! Aren’t we lucky? Can’t get a stronger pairing than that, and MCU gets the benefit! Just beaut!” and she grinned down at Blair as she hugged him close before winking cheekily at Jim. 

For once appreciating the Inspector’s head-on approach, Jim grinned back and continued in the same vein. “Hey, Megan! Yep, you got it in one! I guess Caro didn’t realise just what a catch my Guide is.” 

Turning to smile somewhat wolfishly at his bemused ex-wife he continued smoothly, “You really don’t have to worry on my account, Caro. Not only is Blair a top-rated Guide and empath, he’s also pretty darned close to finishing his doctorate in Anthropology at Rainier. With luck we’re looking at a potential profiler and criminologist in the making, and I’m proud to say he’s all mine!” and he reached out to pull the smaller man into a warm, one-armed hug. 

Realising that she had lost this battle, but she was damned sure she wasn’t going to lose the war, Carolyn was driven to bow out on this occasion, but not without a parting shot. 

“Well, I’m so pleased for you, Jimmy! It’s such a comfort to know you’re not suffering too much from your senses. Pity about the lack of conjugal pleasures though...” she added in an almost aside, flicking a dismissive and disdainful glance in Blair’s direction. 

Before anyone could respond, she flicked Jim a half-wave, and strode off, apparently as relaxed as if she hadn’t a care in the world. 

“Bloody bitch!” was Megan’s blunt comment as Carolyn exited the bullpen. “Bloody hell, Jimbo! I’m sorry mate, but I had no idea! I mean, when I transferred in, you two were more or less history anyway, and I never really had to work with her. If I’ve bad-mouthed you for no good reason, I apologise. But I’m NOT apologising for being rude to that bleeding Sheila!” 

Laughing in spite of himself, Jim for once graced the belligerent Aussie with a truly genuine smile. 

“Megan Connor! Can I say you astound me, and I really appreciate it, love! Me and Blair both,” he added, knowing that he did indeed speak for his Guide even as he hugged the smaller man even tighter. 

Face pinking self-consciously; Blair still managed to offer his own thanks, shyly peeking up at the tall Inspector as he said, “Thank you Megan. You didn’t have to stand up for me, but I’m grateful you did. It’s a real comfort to know that Jim and I have such good friends in you and Joel. Thank you...” and he reached up to peck the bemused woman on the cheek. 

Not to be outdone, she grinned widely and grabbed him, virtually lifting him off his feet to bestow a smacker of a kiss on his lips. 

“Worth every penny, Sandy!” she said saucily as she placed him back on his feet. “Just to see Jimbo’s expression!” and, laughing unrestrainedly, she nudged Joel as they sauntered back to their desks.  


\--------------------------  


**Later that night, Bayside docks:**  


Jim and Blair sat in Jim’s jeep just around the block from the warehouse HQ of one of the better known gangs working out of the Bayside district. The ‘Blood Brethren’ or simply ‘Bloods’ were well established in the neighbourhood, and from what Megan and Joel had been able to glean from their various sources on the street, the ‘38 Specials’, as new boys on the block, had been causing them a few problems. 

In truth, most of their snitches had fallen short of claiming that things had deteriorated to actual bloodshed, and one or two seemed actually nervous of even disclosing that information but could not be pressured into revealing the reason behind their fears. 

Since eye witnesses to the drive-by would only confirm the make of car and the ‘possible’ gang colours worn by the attackers, Jim and his fellow detectives knew that no judge would sign a search warrant on such vague evidence, so it was up to them to find something more concrete. Jim had therefore suggested that he and Blair stake out the warehouse to see if he could come up with any usable information using his senses, but he assured Simon that, should he decide that a raid was in order; he would wait for the backup the captain would have on standby. 

Several hours later saw the pair parked up in the deep shadows of a section of one of the trash-strewn streets which remained unlit because of several broken lights. Blair was squeezing and stroking Jim’s thigh and murmuring sub-vocal nonsense in order to keep him grounded whilst the Sentinel extended his senses to scan the goings-on in the warehouse. 

After a good while, Jim reeled in his hearing and took a break as he was just beginning to feel the first symptoms of a headache. 

“Are you OK, man?” Blair whispered. “You were ‘out there’ a long time, Jim. Longer than we’ve practiced so far. I mean, I know you weren’t even close to zoning, but your head has got to be feeling sore!” 

Grinning at his Guide, and grateful for his concern, Jim replied softly, “I’m fine, Chief. You kept me well grounded, and the effects so far are minimal. As long as I have a few minutes’ off, I’ll be good to go again. 

“Anyhow, before you ask, there’s nothing to report so far. Marlon Bruno’s holding court right now, but not telling me anything of importance. Just seems to be dealing with some internal disciplinary matters amongst the troops,” and he chuckled grimly at the recollection. 

“I take it this Marlon Bruno’s the new boss then?” enquired Blair. “According to the database, it’s still Eugene DeMilo. Bruno was his second in command. I think it needs updating, Big Guy!” 

“And you’d be the one to do it, babe,” replied Jim. “It’s true that some of us ‘tecs aren’t as good at inputting data as we should be, and the sad thing is that budget cuts have weeded out so-called ‘non-essential personnel’ like junior IT and clerical staff. So that leaves the systems open to police officers’ tender mercies! No wonder things are out-of-date, babe. Data-input is so low on a detective’s ‘to-do’ list that it doesn’t even figure most of the time, sad to say. 

“Anyhow, to answer your question, yes, Marlon took over a couple of weeks’ back, according to Megan’s sources, after DeMilo met with an unfortunate accident involving a Smith and Wesson .44 semi-auto. Seems he’d overlooked the one in the spout and it went off when he was cleaning it, if you can credit it. And surprising as it might seem, babe, that’s not an uncommon occurrence, I assure you, with some of the dumbshits that think they can handle firearms. Whatever, Marlon was good to go as the new boss, and life continued, same as always. 

“And why we’re wasting our time here, I don’t know!” he finished with a droll snicker. 

“Because you’re a perfectionist, Jim, that’s why! It wouldn’t be like you not to cover every possible lead, so don’t give me that!” responded Blair with a light-hearted slap to Jim’s knee. 

Suddenly a rap on the passenger side window caused both men to jerk in surprise, the shock compounded when another dark form appeared almost simultaneously at Jim’s window brandishing a heavy calibre weapon. 

Cursing himself for his stupidity in being caught out by a sneak attack because he was relaxing his senses, Jim knew that retaliation would most likely get him and his Guide killed, so he raised his hands to show that they were empty of weaponry, and threw a reassuring glance at Blair, who was visibly shaking in his seat. 

“S’OK, Chief. Don’t move or do anything sudden. If they wanted us dead, we’d be bullet-riddled already. Just try and hold it together, OK?” and he was deeply grateful when the younger man nodded jerkily in assent. 

With a flash of white teeth in a dark-skinned face, the man at Jim’s window indicated that he open his door. When Jim complied, the young black guy said, “Hey, cop! If you behave, you and your partner will be jes’ fine, you unnerstan’? Marlon jus’ want to talk, OK?” and Jim had no option but to obey. 

When he climbed carefully out of the jeep, another well-muscled young man quickly patted him down and removed his service weapon, and, to his irritation, found and removed his back-up pistol which he kept tucked into an ankle holster. Snickering nastily, the guy pocketed both weapons, then turned his attention to Blair, who was looking on with a horrified expression on his face. 

“I’m unarmed, man!” he said quickly. “I’m just an observer, and I’m not qualified to carry, man! I’ll do what you want, just don’t hurt my partner, OK?” 

Studying him speculatively for a moment, the first guy replied, “Yeah well, we’ll just check you out anyway, kid. If you’re level with us, you got no problem.” 

Nodding quickly, Blair stood still while he was frisked in turn, then moved immediately to Jim’s side, intending to stay close whatever happened. 

Indicating that they move off with a jerk of his head, the first guy dug his handgun into Jim’s side and, surrounded by a group of gang members who seemed to materialise out of nowhere - at least as far as Blair was concerned - the whole party marched back to the warehouse where Marlon awaited their arrival. 

Once inside the warehouse, Jim blinked rapidly as the bright lights assaulted his vision, and he nodded in gratitude when Blair quickly squeezed his shoulder and whispered, “Dial it down, Jim!” 

Advancing towards an area plainly designated as a den or relaxation room, Jim and Blair pulled up short when their escorts stopped in their tracks, while the one Jim had pegged as their leader addressed a powerfully-built African American who was lounging on one of the overstuffed sofas. 

“Hey, Marlon! These’re the only ones we found, and they’s been searched. We didn’t see no transmitters or anything, so I’m thinking they’re Sentinel and Guide like you suspected. We jus’ waited ‘til he was takin’ some down-time!” and he sniggered at Jim’s barely-controlled irritation. 

Nodding in approval, the big man stared at the pair for long moments before he spoke. When he did, Jim was immediately captivated with what he had to say, and he knew he could rely on Blair to ‘read’ the man so they could - hopefully – compare impressions at a later date. 

“OK, Detective Ellison. Yeah, I knows who you are!” Marlon chuckled. Then his expression turned serious. 

“Look, man. I know you guys think we’ve got some beef with the ‘Specials’, but it ain’t so. Me’n Max’re tight, you know? We got an arrangement, and he and his aren’t steppin’ on our toes, man. Whoever’s tryin’ to make out that we’ve got a war goin’ on is lyin’. I’m guessin’ that you don’ have a warrant yet, but I can tell you now. You won’t find any weapon here matches up to any slugs in those ‘Specials’ boys. You need to be looking nearer to home; you get what I’m sayin’? Now, contrary to what you cops probably think, I’m not stupid,” and he stared hard at the pair, as if daring them to contradict him. 

“I know you’re a Sentinel, Ellison, so I know you can tell if’n I’m lyin’. And he can too,” he said, nodding at Blair. “Guide’s an empath, right? Well, read me, white boy! And then go back and tell your bosses that they’re lookin’ in the wrong place!” and he stared at Blair, demanding that the younger man do as he said. 

Closing his eyes and taking a deep, calming breath, Blair carefully lowered his shields and ‘read’ the gang boss, and realised instantly that the man was speaking the truth. Sure, there were way more dark shadows than Blair would care to probe in the man’s mind, but in the context of the killings, he was indeed speaking the truth. 

Looking up into Bruno’s face, he said firmly, “I believe you, man. And I’ll say as much to our boss. You have my word!” 

Half expecting the gang boss to laugh in his face at his declaration, Marlon pinned him with a direct stare and then said, “Oh, I believe you, white boy! And I think you’ll make sure your Sentinel backs you up too. Far be it for me to diss a Shaman!” and he snickered at Blair’s perplexed reaction to his words. 

Totally bemused by Marlon’s statement, Blair only came back to himself when he and Jim were turned around and steered back out of the warehouse. 

Once they had been escorted back to the jeep, Jim was handed back his weapons – unloaded – and their escorts melted back into the shadows, leaving Sentinel and Guide to slide into their vehicle and drive away.  


\------------------------  


**Midnight, back at the loft:**  


It was an exhausted Sentinel and Guide who stumbled their way into the loft later that night, having finally been forced to obey Simon’s command to get home and get some sleep. 

After they had returned to the PD from the confrontation at the warehouse, Captain Banks and the rest of the team, which consisted of Megan and Joel as well as H and Rafe, had listened to their report with varying degrees of consternation and disbelief. It wasn’t that they didn’t believe Jim and Blair’s statements – far from it - but rather the possibility that the situation was indeed a set-up by someone close to or within the PD who had an ulterior motive. 

Frowning at the pair from his seat at the head of the conference room table, Simon repeated, “So you both checked Bruno out, then? And you both concur that he was telling the truth?” 

“Yes, sir,” Jim responded. “You know how it works, Captain. A Sentinel can sense a person’s physical responses as well as a lie-detector, if not better. And our evidence is admissible in court, especially if it’s backed up by a highly-rated Guide’s empathic ‘reading’. I can vouch for Blair’s integrity, sir, no doubt about it.” 

Turning his attention to Blair, Simon had directed his next question at the younger man. 

“And you can confirm Jim’s claim, Blair? I’m sorry to labour the point, but I have to be sure, as do we all here. What was your opinion again?” 

Pale but resolute, Blair repeated his story, saying, “He was definitely telling the truth about the shootings, Captain Banks. I was able to read his emotional responses as Jim was checking out his physical reactions, and I confirm that we both came to the same conclusion. His psyche is anything but snow-white, sir, but he definitely had nothing to do with the shootings, and he was totally convinced about the veracity of his claim regarding someone near to home.” 

Holding Blair’s gaze for a long moment, Simon eventually lowered his eyes and rubbed a large hand over his face. Raising his head again to look around at his team, he said, “OK, people. So there we have it. We have the information from our resident Sentinel and Guide team that we could have a rat in or around the department, and I for one believe them. Now, it’s very late, and I don’t think we’ll be doing ourselves any good by trying to get more accomplished tonight. I want you all to go home, get some rest, and be back bright and early tomorrow. 

“We’ll reconvene at 8.00 am, and decide on a plan of action then. Dismissed!” and he rose to his feet to usher the others out of the conference room.  


\---------------------  


Back at the loft, Jim gently pushed his drooping Guide towards the bathroom saying, “Why don’t you get ready for bed while I lock up, OK Chief? I’ll be right behind you, as we both need some shut-eye. God only knows what Simon’ll be wanting us to do tomorrow.” 

Nodding tiredly, Blair shuffled off to his room to grab some sweats, then went to the bathroom to use the facilities and wash up quickly before cleaning his teeth and changing into his night attire of choice. 

As soon as he came out, Jim was ready to follow suit, so Blair smiled briefly as he headed for his room, whispering, “G’night, Jim. Sleep well!” 

“You too, Junior!” responded Jim, patting him on the shoulder as he turned to enter the bathroom, listening in automatically while Blair slid into bed, and hearing the younger man sigh in relief as he snuggled down under his warm comforter. 

By the time Jim exited the bathroom and made his way up to his own bed, Blair’s heart rate had evened out and his regular breathing told Jim that his Guide was already asleep. 

Unfortunately that state of affairs changed very quickly. 

Although Blair had fallen into an exhausted asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillows, it seemed like only minutes later when he bolted upright, wide-eyed and panting from the shock of a horridly vivid dream. As he tried vainly to slow his breathing, instinctively trying not to disturb Jim, he found the task next to impossible as his now hyper-active brain and turbulent emotions forced him to relive flashes of bullet-riddled bodies and grinning faces behind guns pointed menacingly at him and Jim alike. 

As if that wasn’t enough, the sneering face of Carolyn Plummer seemed to laugh at him from the shadows as he struggled against unseen grasping arms, voice dripping in scorn as she snarled, “Conjugal rights for a nobody like you? I don’t think so! All you deserve is rape, little man, and that’s what you’ll keep getting. Over and over and over again…!” 

Shaken to his very core by the vision, he was beset once again by the re-emergence of his deeply ingrained insecurity which swept away what little self-confidence he had managed to develop since bonding with Jim. He realised that he desperately needed his Sentinel’s comfort and reassurance, but knew now that such a thing was impossible over the long-term. After all, hadn’t he seen with his own eyes just what type of lover Jim really went for? Regardless of gender, Carolyn was tall, shapely and attractive, with long legs and plenty of self assurance. How on earth could a short, nerdy Jewish man compete against that? 

Unless he offered himself to Jim as a bed-warmer and fuck-buddy. 

Yes, perhaps that would work. Perhaps both of them could get enough from their bond if he was simply willing to let Jim use him. He wouldn’t demand love – that could never be – but if Jim could get enough sexual release, perhaps Blair would be spared the threat of abandonment? That was, after all, what terrified him the most. Should Jim break their bond so he could return to his ex-wife and Guide, Blair would be doomed to a short and painful existence on temporary medication unless he could find another Sentinel to bond with, and he honestly couldn’t see that happening. 

Decision made, Blair pushed himself off his bed and opened his door with trembling hands, creeping up the stairs to Jim’s room with a pounding heart.  


\----------------------  


Upstairs in the main bedroom, Jim was pulled reluctantly from a deep slumber as the senses he automatically centred on his Guide told him that something was very wrong. Blair’s heart rate had suddenly soared, and his enticing scent was soured by the tang of distress and fear as he appeared to be struggling to steady his gasping breaths. 

Not wanting to push himself on his partner and perhaps compound his anxiety, yet Jim was preparing to do just that when he heard Blair’s door open and tentative steps approached the stairs. Lying back down, Jim was content to let the younger man make his own way up, knowing that it was something Blair needed to do for himself. 

Once the small figure reached the top of the stairs, Jim studied him quietly for a moment, knowing that Blair wouldn’t be able to see him properly in the weak glow from the nightlight in the hallway. The young man was visibly trembling, and was chewing his lower lip in anxiety as he gazed owl-eyed in Jim’s direction, obviously trying to make out whether Jim was awake or not. 

Keeping his voice low and unthreatening, Jim murmured, “You OK, Chief? Bad dream?” 

Blair still jumped a little at his words, but then nodded his head as he replied shakily, “Um, yeah. Pretty bad. Um...would you mind if I slept up here with you tonight? Please?” 

“Sure thing, Junior. We both need the sleep, and this is probably the best way to get it. Climb in!” and he lifted the bedclothes for the smaller man to get in. As Blair quickly complied, Jim was confused when, rather than turning on his side and settling down to sleep, his Guide rolled towards him instead and nervously reached for him. 

“What’s going on, babe? You feeling all right? Would you like me to hold you for a while?” he asked kindly, and was more than a little alarmed at Blair’s whispered response. 

“Do you want to take me, Jim? I...I...I mean, if you need to – you know – relax? We could bond....” and he tailed off, blushing deeply in embarrassment and ducking his head down to hide his heated face on Jim’s chest. 

Realising exactly what was going through Blair’s mind, Jim grasped him by the upper arms and pushed him away enough to be able to look into the worried face, hating to see the fear and pleading in the beautiful blue eyes. 

Sighing deeply, Jim spoke softly as the last thing he wanted was to upset the other man further. 

“I think I know what brought this on, babe. First you have to deal with your first violent crime scene, then you get virtually kidnapped by a gang lord, and you also get to be the target of Carolyn’s bitchy innuendos, all in the space of a few hours. Now, listen up!” he continued, still gently, but demanding Blair’s undivided attention. 

“Despite what you believe, Blair, I would be only too pleased to make love to you – not just have sex – but this isn’t the time. I won’t take you again while you’re so insecure, babe, and certainly not while you’re throwing yourself at me like some sacrificial virgin! Link with me now, Guide. Hear what I’m saying, and then let’s get some sleep, OK? This is a discussion for a better time,” and he grasped Blair’s nape with one hand, tucking the curly head into his neck while he hugged the smaller body to his chest with his other arm. 

He was unsurprised when he heard a sniffle and a few tears dampened his skin while Blair clung to him with all his might. “I’m sorry, Jim! I didn’t mean to make a scene again! I was just--” 

“Just frightened that I’d be throwing you over for Carolyn despite what I told you,” Jim finished quietly. “I can’t blame you, kiddo, but I wish you could trust me. Hush now, and let’s try and catch some zzzzs, OK?” and he had to be satisfied with Blair’s small nod of assent as they both gradually relaxed once more into much-needed rest, staying closely cuddled together for the remainder of the night.  


\---------------------------  


**Following morning, MCU conference room:**  


When Jim and Blair reported in at the PD the next morning, they both looked decidedly the worse for wear, despite having finally managed to grab a few hours’ rest. Blair’s most recent crisis of confidence left the younger man quiet and withdrawn, unable to respond satisfactorily to Jim’s overtures, or, indeed, anyone else’s when they arrived in the MCU conference room, although he was openly apologetic, and blamed himself for his reticence. 

As for Jim, although his feelings alternated between wanting to hug his Guide and shaking him in frustration until his teeth rattled, he decided that the best course was to let Blair work through his anxieties in his own way rather than force his attention on the younger man and risk making him feel more uncomfortable than he already was. 

Having joined Megan, Joel, H and Rafe in the conference room, they exchanged a few pleasantries until Simon arrived, although Megan in particular sent several worried glances in Blair’s direction, disturbed that the young Guide was even quieter than usual. However, once Simon took his seat, it was down to business, as they decided the best way forward for the investigation into the drive-by incident. 

Simon told Megan and Joel that he wanted them to go back to their sources to see if they could get some more specific information, especially as they now had the word of Marlon Bruno to build on. He hoped that they might be able to shake something loose from one of their informants, but, if so, to report back to him personally before attempting to follow up on any leads as he wanted to keep a tight lid on the investigation. He was determined to try and keep everything confined solely to those presently in the room. The last thing he needed was to risk providing a potential ‘bad apple’ with any hint of their progress, or indeed the direction of their enquiries. 

Addressing H and Rafe, he told them that he needed them to re-interview the few known eye witnesses in the light of Bruno’s claim, and see if they could dig up any other more satisfactory ones. Again, he ordered them to report back to him with their results. 

Once the other detectives had been dismissed to set about their allotted tasks, Simon turned to Jim saying, “What I need from you, Jim, is for you to go down to the ME’s office. Dan Wolf’s finished the autopsies on the three vics, and he wants to report the findings direct to you. He also thought you might want to look over the bodies yourself to see if there’s anything he’s missed.” 

At Blair’s involuntary audible gulp, both older men turned towards him, and caught the nauseated expression that clouded the mobile features even as he ducked his head in an attempt to hide from their scrutiny. 

Turning back to Simon, Jim replied, “If it’s OK with you, Simon, I’d like Blair to stay in the office. I’d like him to start looking through all reports of similar incidents in our records, and perhaps those of other police authorities also to see if he can get any clues or make any connections. He’s certainly the best for that kind of task.” 

Ignoring the way that Blair’s head whipped up at his partner’s words, the young man’s face now wearing an almost mutinous frown of dismay, Simon nodded his agreement as he answered cordially, “Good idea, Jim. He can get started right away, and the sooner you finish up with Dan, the sooner you can help him and see if you both can pull together something solid to run with.” 

With a brisk nod to both men, he strode from the room knowing that Jim was going to have to have a few words with his discomfited Guide, and he surely didn’t want to get in the firing line. 

Even as Blair opened his mouth to speak, Jim quickly crossed over to him and laid a gentle finger on the soft lips requesting silence while he explained his position. Placing his hands on Blair’s shoulders, he fixed the younger man with a penetrating gaze as he began. 

“Before you get your panties in a bunch, Chief, let me speak, OK? The fact is, babe, that you don’t need to see this right now. Sure, at some point you’ll most likely have to see an autopsy, or at least the results of one, but you’ve enough on your plate right now without adding more potential nightmare material. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I know you’ll always do your best by me, but in this case you’re better served by starting the data search. Believe me, I don’t intend to put myself at risk, but I promise I’ll call if I need you for any reason. Good enough?” 

When he realised that Blair wasn’t looking any too impressed with his speech, he briefly tightened his grip on the other man’s shoulders before adding more firmly, “Don’t fight me on this, OK? I won’t be long!” and he turned Blair about and steered him out of the room and across to his desk, trying to ignore the stubborn pout that graced the Guide’s face. 

Full lips compressed tightly, and a frown of aggravation settling between his brows, Blair seated himself in front of the computer and began to pull up as much information as possible, looking for connections.  


\---------------------  


As Jim made his way down to the ME’s office in the building’s basement, he told himself that he was doing the right thing by leaving Blair up in the bullpen even as a part of him felt slightly bereft without his Guide shadowing his footsteps. The younger man certainly didn’t need to see any more blood and gore right now, but Jim was also aware that he shouldn’t sell Blair short. Inexperienced he may be when it came to modern crime scenes, but he had already demonstrated his natural guiding ability when helping Jim yesterday, despite his personal distress. He had also handled himself with commendable competence during the interview with Bruno, and hadn’t allowed his fear to take him out of the game. 

And after last night’s bedroom episode, Jim was ruefully aware that Blair had dedicated himself to fulfilling his unexpected role to the extent that he was terrified that he might fail his Sentinel and be cast aside. It was no good Jim telling himself and his Guide that the idea was unthinkable as far as he was concerned. What mattered was that Blair couldn’t see it the same way yet, and Jim knew it was going to take much more effort on his part to convince Blair that he was loved and wanted. 

Reaching the doors to Dan’s domain, Jim shook off his uneasy thoughts, and greeted the ME amicably. 

“Hey, Dan! Thanks for rushing these through. I know you’re always busy, so me and the guys appreciate you bumping our vics up the line. Simon said you have some evidence for me?” 

The other man grinned in response and replied, “Don’t worry about it, Jim! I had a feeling that this might take priority over the other folks I’ve got lined up for me, and it’s not like they’re going anywhere soon. 

“Anyhow, as far as evidence is concerned, I know you guys have already identified all three victims, and cause of death is as you’d expect. Massive trauma from multiple gunshot wounds – definitely overkill judging by the sheer amount of lead I pulled out of all of them. 

“I did a tox screen also though, as a matter of course, and two out of the three had significant amounts of crack cocaine and alcohol in their systems, so perhaps they didn’t suffer quite as much. Can but hope, anyway,” he added with genuine compassion. 

Jim nodded in sympathetic agreement, liking the other man for his caring attitude which hadn’t diminished despite many years at his job. Dan Wolf was a well-built middle aged Native American, well-liked and respected in the PD for his professionalism and reliability. He was also a low-grade empath, so was particularly suited to dealing with cases brought in by or relating to Sentinels and Guides, having a particular interest in their interaction and behaviour. 

Turning aside for a moment, he snagged a sizeable Ziploc bag filled with a substantial number of bullets, each individually wrapped and tagged so that no unnecessary damage could affect the slight markings and indentations on them which would be used by forensic experts to try and identify the weapon or weapons which fired them. 

“See what I mean, Jim? I’ve also checked out the angle of entry wounds so that ballistics can do their magic with trajectories and such, but I’m thinking that you may be looking in a somewhat different direction as regards tracking the likely suspects, am I right?” and he chuckled at Jim’s startled expression. 

“It’s OK, detective! I don’t want to know any more,” he continued, still grinning as he put the bag aside. “I’ll get these up to forensics a.s.a.p. OK?” 

“Damn, Wolf!” muttered Jim with wry humour. “I forget just how empathic you are, man! Am I that easy to read?” 

“Nah, Jim. It’s as much to do with body language as empathy in my case. But talking of empathy, when am I going to meet this new Guide of yours? I’ve heard he’s really talented, and your Inspector Connor fairly bent my ear with expounding on how cute he is – her words, not mine!” 

Chuckling in his turn, Jim replied, “Yeah, I guess he is kinda cute. He’s not particularly tall – well, not compared to the likes of you, me and Simon, but he’s all heart. And I can honestly say I’ve never come across a more highly-rated empath. I’ll bring him down to meet you soon, Dan. He may hate the venue, but I know he’ll get a buzz meeting with you. He was studying anthropology at Rainier before he bonded with me, and he’s still working on his dissertation.” 

“Yeah, I heard something along those lines,” responded Dan, face clouding with sympathy as he patted Jim’s shoulder in comfort. “Don’t fret, son. You two’ll be just fine. Scout’s honour!” he finished with a laugh, pleased when Jim joined in. 

“Thanks, Dan. I’ll go back up to MCU and tell Simon what you’ve told me, and we’ll see what we can come up with once forensics have finished with the bullets,” and he turned to go, only to be stopped in his tracks when a familiar and very unwelcome voice cut across them, instantly ruining his mood. 

“Hey, Jimmy, Dan! Thought I might find you two down here. I gather you have some evidence you need us to look at, so I thought I may as well come down to collect it myself. I’d hate to leave anything to chance, you know. Things seem to have gotten quite lax around here since I’ve been away!” and Carolyn beamed at them, positively oozing smug self-assurance. 

She wasn’t quite so complacent when Dan muttered, “Oh, I don’t know. Serena Chang seemed to be doing OK...” but chose to ignore the intended slur, since it was Jim she was really out to impress. 

“Well, Jimmy, is there anything in particular forensics can do for you?” she purred, half-turning to exclude Dan, who was more than happy to move away, but not without a sly wink at Jim as he busied himself with collecting some paperwork together. 

“No Guide here? But then, I guess from what I’ve heard, he can’t cope with real life, poor thing!” she continued with faux sympathy. “It must be so hard for an academic like him--” 

“That’s enough, Carolyn!” interrupted Jim, out of patience with her pitiful scheming. 

“Blair’s more Guide to me than you could ever be, so just cut it out, OK?” and he swung away from her, fully intending to make his escape. Unfortunately, he was in such a distracted state that a random combination of incidents sent his unguarded senses into overload and he zoned deeply for the first time since bonding with Blair. 

At the exact same moment as Carolyn reached to grasp his arm to prevent his departure, an alarm went off in the street outside, and he was suddenly captivated by the swirling shapes on Dan’s computer screen saver. Off balance from the sensory input from too many sources without the grounding baseline only a true guide could provide, Jim’s vision was drawn more and more deeply into the myriad colours and he zoned hard. 

Even as Dan worriedly returned to his side, Carolyn smiled dismissively at his concern, saying, “Don’t worry, Dan. I can deal with this. I was his Guide before, after all! And seeing as his new, supposed Guide isn’t here, I guess I’ll have to do the honours!” and she began to rub Jim’s upper arm with one hand as she stroked his cheek with the other. 

“Come on back, Jimmy! Stop making a fool of yourself, darling! You’re embarrassing us here, baby!” she murmured, plainly more concerned with her personal comfort zone than with Jim’s predicament. 

After repeating much the same for a while longer with no result, her patience wore thin and she suddenly slapped Jim across the face, growling, “That’s enough now, Jimmy! Fun’s over. Time to come out of it!” only to have her wrist grabbed in a fierce grip as a furious Blair Sandburg yanked her away from her prey. 

“If you ever touch him again, I’ll fry your brain, you bitch!” the normally gentle young man snarled out, and Carolyn had every reason to believe him. Beautiful face now etched with rage, Blair shoved her away unceremoniously, and turned his total concentration on Jim, the usurper dismissed from his thoughts as irrelevant.  


\-----------------------  


When Dan had realised that Carolyn could no more deal with Jim’s condition than fly, he quickly called up to Simon Banks’ office, only to be told that Blair had suddenly shot out of his seat in the bullpen moments before like a scalded cat, and had run from the room as if the hounds of hell were at his heels. Once he heard of Jim’s condition, Simon confirmed that he believed Blair was indeed on his way, and prepared to follow the young Guide down to the basement office to run interference if necessary. 

Replacing the handset with relief, Dan turned back to face the zoned Sentinel only to see a small figure burst through his office doors, almost incandescent with rage and concern, and he smiled grimly to himself as he beheld a true Shaman Guide in his full glory. 

Even as Blair shoved Carolyn away, Simon entered the room, only for Dan to distract him by grabbing his arm and pulling him aside, shaking his head and raising a finger to his lips, indicating that Simon should wait and watch. Sure enough, Simon, Dan and Carolyn were duly treated to a textbook display of how a true Sentinel and Guide team should interact, and their emotions ranged from astonishment and gratification to grudging acceptance as Blair worked his magic. 

Stroking Jim’s cheek with a gentle hand, Blair reached up and breathed softly into Jim’s face as he murmured _sotto voce_ , “It’s OK, Jim. Come on back to me, Sentinel. I know you’re angry, but don’t let it control you, man. I’m here. Listen to my voice. Hear me. Feel me...Smell me!”...and Jim did. 

Blinking rapidly, Jim gave himself a quick shake, then grinned down at the anxious face peering up at him. 

“Hey, babe!” he murmured, reaching out to cup Blair’s face in warm palms. “Thanks, Chief. Guess I was really gone there, wasn’t I?” and he was hardly surprised when Blair replied angrily, even though his expression radiated his love and concern. 

“Don’t you ever do that to me again, Big Guy! I need to be with you, so don’t shut me out!” Then his adrenaline rush drained away abruptly to leave him shaky and tearful as he leaned into Jim’s embrace. 

Cuddling the smaller man to him, Jim whispered, “You got it, babe. I’ll try to remember, I promise you!” and he rested his cheek on the curly head beneath his chin, so grateful for the young man in his arms, and loving him so very much.  


\-----------------------------  


A short while later Jim and Blair were back in the bullpen, poring through several case files Blair had bookmarked prior to making his unexpected trip down to the ME’s office. Both men still felt a little shaken, but for Blair there was also a definite sense of accomplishment and satisfaction to give his ego a much-needed boost, especially after Carolyn had approached him. Plainly begrudging every word, she still had the decency to acknowledge his rightful role as Jim’s Guide, saying stiffly, “Well done, Guide Sandburg. I see I was wrong in trying to set myself up again as Jimmy’s Guide. He obviously needs someone stronger, at least in terms of empathy rating. See you around, Jimmy,” and she had stalked from the room, back rigid and head held high despite her humiliation and disappointment. 

Of course, she had failed to mention physical and emotional compatibility, but Blair wasn’t about to worry about that right now. 

As for Jim, he was actually feeling rather pleased with the outcome of his short visit to la-la land. True, he hadn’t intended to zone, and was somewhat annoyed at himself for his lack of control, but the fact that Blair had responded so quickly, and pulled him out of it so fast was even more proof as far as he was concerned that the Guide was his, and his alone. And it didn’t hurt that Carolyn now apparently saw the error of her ways either. 

Smiling in satisfaction as he sat next to Blair, both of them unconsciously pressed close together, he turned his attention to the potential leads Blair had come up with. 

“So, Chief, you think these cases could follow a pattern? And we could have something similar going down here...?” 

“Um, yeah, Jim. See, this case in Seattle two years ago,” and he pulled up the relevant file. “The violence and bloodshed was wide-spread enough to make national headlines, just like the previous year in Portland. When I read the files in detail, in each case there was a drive-by style killing in retaliation for one gang apparently trespassing on another gang’s established turf, which escalated rapidly into all-out war. Thing is, I can’t find any evidence to corroborate the so-called friction other than a vague police report. But whether it was genuine or not, the violence was certainly extreme and resulted in not only the annihilation of many gang members, but also a lot of collateral damage in passersby wounded and killed, and a whole lot of property damage. I’m thinking that it would be a great way for an unscrupulous officer - or officers - to turn bad guys against each other.” 

“I think you could well be right, sad to say,” concurred Jim. “I have to agree that the sheer speed of the escalation into outright gang warfare suggests some careful and very convincing use of outside influence to fuel the flames. Now, how do we prove it?” and he turned to look at Blair, affection in his eyes despite the seriousness of the situation. 

However, just as Blair was about to respond, the bullpen doors opened to reveal two men in dark suits, who strode purposefully towards Simon’s office. 

“Hey, H. What’s the betting they’re FBI? Take a peek at those truly bad threads!” 

Even as Jim caught the snide whispered comment from Rafe, something about at least one of the men struck a chord, and he turned to stare after them in puzzlement. 

“What’s up Big Guy?” queried Blair quietly as he rested a hand on Jim’s shoulder. “You look as if you might recognise them. Could it be a sense memory?” 

Giving himself a quick mental shake, Jim replied, “Yeah, Chief. I think it’s very likely. I’d probably remember it already if I hadn’t messed myself up a bit with that zone, but I want to try now. Can you talk me through it? It could be important....” 

“Sure, Jim,” Blair responded eagerly. “Just sit back, close your eyes and listen to my voice....” 

A few minutes later, Jim sat up suddenly and gripped Blair’s arm, whispering fiercely, “Got it, Chief! The scent! Remember I caught a whiff of a bespoke aftershave at the scene? Well, I just got it again – from one of them! Let’s go see Simon and see what’s going on, eh?” Pulling his partner to his feet, he turned and strode towards Banks’ office, Blair almost glued to his side, oblivious of the perturbed stares that followed them across the bullpen. 

Just as they reached the door, however, Simon opened it only to startle a little to see them already standing outside. 

“Ah, Jim, Blair – I was just about to call you,” he said gruffly. “Allow me to introduce the gentlemen from the local FBI office, who want to get involved in our drive-by shooting incident!” he continued, with no small amount of sarcasm in his tone. 

Ushering the pair inside, he continued formally, “Detective Ellison, Mr Sandburg. Do take a seat. This is SAC Danvers and his colleague Agent Eberhart. Apparently they have a theory that this type of gang-related incident is part of a conspiracy which involves more than one state.” 

As Jim and Blair sat down where he indicated, Jim studied the pair for a long moment while Blair instinctively placed a hand on his shoulder to ground him while he submitted them both to a full sensory scan. Satisfied with his findings, Jim’s face creased with a predatory grin as he murmured, “Funny you should say that, Captain Banks. We’d just come up with the same conclusion. But we think we have a good lead on the origin of the ‘conspiracy’, and Bruno was right. It _is_ pretty close to home!” and he turned his attention specifically to Agent Eberhart. 

“What are you talking about, Detective?” snapped SAC Danvers in puzzled indignation. “One would almost think you were implying that the FBI is involved in some way! If so, then I have to say I resent the implication. We may not be the PD’s favourite people, but that’s a bit much!” 

Frowning in consternation, Simon stared from one to the other before saying slowly, “I think you’d better explain yourself, Sentinel Detective Ellison. I’m assuming you have good reason for coming to that conclusion?” 

Noting with satisfaction that both FBI agents stiffened slightly at the mention of his full title, Jim was happy to comply, reaching over to squeeze Blair’s knee. 

“Certainly, Captain Banks. Guide Sandburg here was responsible for the groundwork, and I found myself in a position to offer corroborating sensory evidence, as acceptable in a court of law...” and he proceeded to explain about the scent of aftershave and the relevance of the locations in which he had recognised it. 

Although initially disbelieving, SAC Danvers began to shoot slightly suspicious glances at his colleague during the recital, while Eberhart tried very hard to assume an air of righteous indignation. It was to no avail however, as Jim’s sentinel senses could easily pick up the agent’s elevated heartbeat and respiration and see the dew of nervous sweat beading his upper lip and hairline. As he wound down his explanation, Jim sat back and contemplated the pair, eyebrow raised quizzically as he awaited the explosion he knew was coming. 

Sure enough, despite Danvers’ repressive glare and restraining hand on his forearm, Eberhart snarled, “So you think you’re so clever, _Sentinel!_ You think I care about your ‘sensory evidence?’ No court in the land would be swayed by it when compared to my reputation in the Bureau!” 

However, as Jim’s eyebrow rose even higher, and his sardonic grin widened as he stared the man down, suddenly Eberhart had had enough. 

“So what? So what if a jury _did_ swallow your bullshit? I did what I had to do! No law department has enough manpower to contain the spreading disease of gang-related crime! And why should officers of the law be put in the firing line? Why not have the bastards wipe each other out? It’s just a better way of keeping our streets clear of scum!” 

Just then Blair cut in, voice low, but commanding attention nevertheless. 

“And what about collateral damage, Agent Eberhart? Can you tell me how many innocent bystanders got caught in the crossfire? How much damage to property are we talking about here? Because it seems to me that your solution comes with a very high price!” 

“Irrelevant!” responded the furious agent. “Who cares about a few casualties? The most important thing is that there were very few officers involved, and I very much doubt if your precious ‘bystanders’ were as innocent as you’d like to believe, little Guide! And while we’re about it--” 

“Enough!” barked his SAC angrily. “You’ve said enough, Eberhart! If you’ll excuse us, Captain Banks, I think I should get Agent Eberhart back to our office. I’ll get back to you shortly,” and ignoring the others’ flabbergasted expressions, he grabbed his colleague’s arm in a grip of steel and towed him out of the office, wasting no time in exiting the bullpen and leaving a lot of curious and angry stares in their wake. 

Snapping out of his temporary fugue state, Blair turned his stunned gaze back to his boss saying, “Can he do that? Can he just leave after what he just admitted? Why didn’t you let Jim arrest him?” 

Looking as if he wanted to snarl irritably at the young man’s question, Simon controlled himself with an effort and rubbed his hand over his face before replying more moderately than he was initially inclined to do. 

“No Blair. Jim can’t arrest him, sad to say. I’m sorry to disillusion you kid, but police departments have no jurisdiction over the Bureau. We may ostensibly be on the same side, but we sure don’t realise it sometimes. The Bureau looks after its own, and I somehow doubt if Eberhart will ever see the inside of a courtroom. 

“Having said that, he’ll probably disappear into some programme, or even some private ward somewhere where he’ll never see the outside world again, but I think that’s as much as we can expect. I’ll be interested in what SAC Danvers has to say when he reports back, but don’t hold your breath. 

“The most important thing is that you nailed the case, so be satisfied with that, OK?”  


\-------------------------  


The following day, Simon called his small task force into the conference room to report back on what Danvers had told him. Sending Jim and Blair a repressive but apologetic glance, he turned his attention to the others present who were still in the dark about the incident in the Captain’s office the previous day. As Megan, Joel, H and Rafe listened with rapt attention, Simon explained to them that the case was now closed, and told them what he had learned from SAC Danvers. 

With obvious distaste – to Jim and Blair’s eyes, anyway – he informed them that an ‘unnamed person’ within the Bureau had been apprehended who had confessed to instigating gang warfare in several cities and states in the Pacific North West over the course of the past five years. 

During interrogation, the perp had boasted of using his many contacts in the underworld to spread a campaign of slurs and insults purporting to originate from sources within rival gangs. He then set up various incidents suggesting deliberate encroachment by one gang on the other’s turf, culminating in a staged violent assault such as a drive-by shooting. With gang leaders already suspicious and aggressive, it had proved easy to push them into retaliation, and thence to outright conflict, which didn’t cease until many of their members were dead or injured, and the gangs at least temporarily out business. 

Winding down his report, Simon gazed at them all as he concluded, “So there you have it, gentlemen – and lady. The Bureau thanks us for our efforts, but we can now consider the case closed, at least as far as Cascade PD is concerned. 

“I apologise if it feels unsatisfactory, but you all did a good job, people, and I appreciate it. At least the guy has been caught, so Marlon Bruno and his friends can get on with business as usual. Until we can get them for something else, that is! 

“Now, since there’s nothing more to be said, I want you to complete your reports and get on with catching all those other bad guys out there.” And he smiled grimly, knowing all too well that most, if not all of them would be feeling pretty much disgruntled at being so dismissed, but there was nothing to be done about it. 

When the others had left, he kept Jim and Blair back for a moment, saying quietly, “Just thought I’d let you know, guys, that SAC Danvers was really quite upset when he called me last night. Seems that one of his most experienced agents managed to hang himself. Very sad. I’ve heard that there’s a high suicide rate in the Bureau – even worse than within the force...” and he chuckled grimly as he walked away, leaving Sentinel and Guide bemused, to say the least.  


\---------------------  


**Part 4: “Places to go...”**  


**Several weeks later: The loft, early morning:**  


“Hey, Chief! Time to get your butt into gear! Department meeting in...oh...45 minutes!” 

Jim allowed himself an evil grin as he placed a mug of fresh coffee on the table next to a plate of eggs and toast. 

“Uh, what? What did you say?” came the mumbled response from the direction of Blair’s small bedroom. “What time is it?” 

“Time all Guides were up and about, Chief,” replied Jim with a chuckle. 

“Breakfast’s on the table, and if you want your coffee hot, you’d better get a move on, Junior!” 

Moments later a bedraggled, sleepy and totally adorable apparition stumbled out of the small understairs room, and headed relentlessly towards the table and the cup of coffee waiting there. 

Blair was still in ‘zombie-mode’ as he grasped the mug, but after a few appreciative sips, he opened his eyes enough to mutter, “Morning, Jim. Good coffee, man,” before taking himself - and the mug – back towards the bathroom. 

“You’re welcome, babe!” replied Jim, grinning from ear to ear now, confident that the younger man would emerge from the bathroom mere minutes later bouncing like the Energiser Bunny on speed. 

Sipping from his own mug, Jim thought back over the past few weeks, and the progress made in their partnership both at the department and at home.  


\-------------------------  


After accepting the inevitable disappointment of the drive-by case and its unsatisfactory resolution - from their point of view, at least - the MCU detectives had stoically returned to their normal caseload, and had benefitted greatly from the input of their resident Sentinel and his very gifted Guide in the following weeks. 

Blair had slowly gained confidence in his ability as a Guide, and was now becoming accepted in the PD as a whole not only for his academic and empathic contributions, but also earning a reluctant admiration for the way he handled himself during cases when backing up his Sentinel in the field. 

In between his work at the PD, Blair had also been using every spare minute to complete his dissertation, and only last night had shyly handed a freshly-printed copy of the final draft to Jim, saying, “It’s done, man. Finally! I’ll hand it in to the department either tomorrow or Friday, and then I’ll get a date for the defence. Whatever the outcome, it’ll be a relief to have it done and dusted, man!” and he had smiled a little sadly at his partner, the ambivalence in Blair’s emotions clearly visible to Jim as he accepted the manuscript. 

Reaching out to grasp the younger man’s hand, he had pulled Blair down beside him on the sofa and hugged his Guide to him as he said, “Congratulations, babe. I know it’s going to be just fine. You’ll sail through your defence, no question, then you’ll be Doctor Sandburg, just as you deserve! I’m so proud of you, babe!” 

The fact that the doctorate wouldn’t guarantee a return to any form of academic career in anthropology was unfortunately only too likely, but Jim fervently hoped that Blair might agree to pursue a slightly different, if related, career in forensic anthropology and profiling instead, and, in consequence, accept his permanent position at Jim’s side. 

At home, they had settled into a comfortable relationship insofar as Blair had become a real friend as well as Guide and roommate. He never shirked in what he saw as his duty in caring for his Sentinel, and tried so hard to be up-beat and positive in all his dealings with Jim. But it was a pity that sometimes the effort was plain for Jim to see. 

Hating the continuing evidence of Blair’s underlying insecurity, Jim was at a loss as to how to remedy the situation, knowing that the longer it existed, the deeper it would be ingrained in his Guide’s psyche, and the harder it would be to overcome. 

Sure, Blair acknowledged that some of the problem resided in his own lack of self-esteem, but since Jim had kick-started that particular mess by his own thoughtless words, he had little cause to rail at his nervous partner. He just missed the comfort of holding Blair in the warmth of his bed, and he suffered the symptoms of his unrequited desire in stoic silence.  


\---------------------------  


When Blair emerged from the bathroom, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, Jim thrust aside his ruminations and grinned at his partner, saying, “Great timing, Junior! You just have time to finish off your eggs, then we can get moving. Unless of course you want to explain to Simon why we’re late?” 

“Um, no, man. I don’t think so. Give me five minutes, and I’ll be with you,” and Blair grabbed his plate and started to shovel down his breakfast until Jim gripped his hand. 

“Not _that_ fast, babe! I do want to get moving, but I don’t want you suffering all morning with indigestion! You can take a little more time!” 

“Jeez! Some folks are never satisfied!” grumbled Blair, but he smirked a little as he slowed down fractionally, casting a cheeky grin at Jim as he ate.  


\-----------------------  


About thirty minutes later, Jim and Blair approached the conference room only five minutes late for the meeting, but were waylaid by Simon anyway. Indicating that they follow him, he apologised to the assembled team, asking that Joel stand in for him for the first part of the briefing before leading the pair to his office, where he took a seat and gestured to them to do the same. 

Worried by their Captain’s unease, Jim asked, “Are you OK, Simon? Is everything all right? There’s no problem with Joan or Daryl, is there?” he added, referring to Banks’ wife and son. 

“No, Jim, nothing like that,” Simon replied quickly. “It’s more to do with you – or you and Blair, to be exact. Now I know you probably won’t want to hear this, but I’ve received some information and a request from the Sentinel and Guide Department that they wanted me to pass on to you first before it becomes common knowledge. 

“Just bear with me, and try to remember not to shoot the messenger, OK?” he continued, with a weak attempt at humour. 

Their own unease growing by the second, Jim replied, “OK, Simon, let’s hear it,” while Blair echoed softly, “Um, sure, please Captain.” 

Nodding in response, Simon took a deep breath and looked up at the pair, holding their worried gazes in turn with a sympathetic but apologetic one of his own. 

“OK, well, what it amounts to is this. You’re probably already aware that central government’s Sentinel and Guide Department scientists have been working for some time now on an improved version of the support medication for bereaved or deserted partners?” and on receiving somewhat reserved nods of assent from his listeners, he continued a little warily. 

“What you may not have been aware of is that locally the S and G Department’s Cascade Hospital Division has benefitted greatly from an input of funding from the city’s business community – in particular, Ellison Enterprises.” 

At Jim’s frown and sharp intake of breath, Simon hurried on. 

“I know this won’t be particularly welcome news to you, Jim, considering its source, but just think about what your father wants you to understand. You could be the first to benefit from the extended programme, which has just completed final clinical trials and is ready for test subjects...” 

Fully expecting an Ellison eruption of classic proportions at his words, Simon was somewhat discomfited when the Sentinel’s face took on a weary and almost despairing expression while he stared away for long moments, lost in troubled introspection. 

As for Blair, his initial response was one of awe and wonder, as the possibilities of achieving his long-held dreams and ambitions seemed to be once more within his grasp. However, his excited expression dimmed considerably as he became aware of Jim’s silence and preoccupation, so that he was assailed by doubt and guilt. 

“You OK, man?” he murmured, worriedly gripping Jim’s knee. “Please, man. Don’t zone on me, Jim. Please tell me what’s wrong!” 

And Jim consciously hauled his disconsolate thoughts back under control at the frightened concern in his Guide’s voice, schooling himself to accept the inevitable. That Blair could go back to the life he deserved, and be freed from the bond forced upon him. 

Turning a soft smile on his smaller partner, Jim replied, “It’s OK, Chief. Nothing’s wrong. In fact, it could turn out to be very right, don’t you think? I mean the timing couldn’t be better, could it? You’re just about to defend your dissertation, and now you could be free to grab that tenured position at the U, huh? And you deserve it, Junior. No two ways about it!” 

Frowning in worry, Blair replied, “But what about you, Jim? Will you be OK? How will you get by without a Guide – or won’t you need one anymore?’” and he couldn’t quite contain the hurt he knew he would feel if Jim confirmed his words. 

He was therefore somewhat less than euphoric when Jim said cheerfully, “Don’t worry about me, Junior! I managed just fine without a Guide before, and although you’ve been pretty damned great, kiddo - don’t get me wrong - I’ll be OK now I can be assured that the medication isn’t going to give out on me in the near future. And I’ll be relieved to know you’ll stay healthy too. 

“And now,” he continued, directing his attention back to Simon, who wasn’t swallowing his act for a moment, “I guess we should contact the S and G Department. When did they want to see us, Captain?” 

Trying hard to control his own turbulent emotions, Simon replied, “As soon as you like, Jim. If you and Blair want to go there now, I’m sure Director Dennison will be glad to see you both. I just hope that things will work out for both of you.”  


\----------------------  


**Two hours later, Sentinel and Guide Department Hospital: Director Dennison’s office:**  


Jim and Blair sat together in Director Dennison’s plush office, awaiting the return of the man in question, who had excused himself for a moment under the pretence of retrieving some data from his secretary. However, in truth it was to give himself a slight breathing space before his other expected visitor arrived. He was under no illusions about the reaction he could expect from Sentinel Ellison when his father appeared, and just hoped that Guide Sandburg was competent enough to prevent any threat of physical violence. Instantly chiding himself for his overly active imagination, he directed what he hoped was a reassuring smile to his long-time secretary Sarah, and, grasping the manila folder she handed him, turned back towards the inner office. 

During the short absence, Blair took the opportunity to reach out to Jim, resting a hand on the other man’s knee as he gazed appealingly into Jim’s set and cold-eyed expression. Voice low and shaking with anxiety, he muttered, “Please Jim. Please talk to me. You’ve hardly spoken two words since we left Simon’s office, and you’re frightening me, man. Please tell me what’s going on with you!” 

Eyes softening slightly at his Guide’s distress, Jim was sorely tempted to take the young man into his arms and simply carry him away somewhere where they could remain together forever, safe from the outside world and secure in their love. But the next instant he mentally scoffed at his own whimsy, and hardened his heart once again to do what he thought was fair and right for Blair. He was well aware that the younger man was upset by Jim deliberately shutting him out every time Blair tried to link with him, but he was certain that it was for the best that his Guide didn’t see just how deep was his despair at the thought of losing a person who had come to mean everything to him. 

Smiling slightly into the wide and worried blue eyes, Jim replied easily, “Nothing’s wrong, Junior. I’m fine – well, not really, but that’s only because I have to see my father again! I’d hoped never to lay eyes on the old buzzard, but if he’s part of the reason we can get on with our separate lives, then I guess I have to put up with him for once. Why, what did you think was wrong?” 

“I...I...don’t know. Perhaps I thought that you were upset about us breaking up, but I know that’s silly. You didn’t want me in the first place, I guess, so this is for the best, right? I mean, if you wanted to, you could find another Guide – one you choose for yourself, man. Maybe like Carolyn...” and he tailed off for a moment, averting his eyes briefly before continuing, “And I should be grateful, shouldn’t I? I mean, once I’ve defended the diss, perhaps Dean Wilson will take me back...” 

Hating himself for perpetuating the younger man’s misconceptions, but determined to hold fast to his stance, Jim grinned into eyes now slightly dulled by disappointment as he said, “There you go, Chief! It’s what you always intended to do with your life, anyway. And now, thanks in part to my Dad, you can get it back. Which is only fair because he stole it from you in the first place! And here he comes,” he added, head cocked in the classic ‘listening’ pose. 

“He just met up with Director Dennison, and they’re hovering outside the door. Probably think I’m going to rip Dad’s head off the moment I see him. Not a bad idea, eh?” he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood and cheer Blair up a little. 

With an obvious effort, Blair tried hard to respond in kind, wanting to show Jim that everything was indeed OK, and that Jim needn’t worry that Blair was going to cling to him when he wasn’t wanted or needed. With a somewhat forced snicker of his own, he said, “Not the best idea, man! No point in getting your life back if you have to spend a lot of it behind bars for patricide! Let’s just hear him out, OK?” and they both turned their attention to the door as it opened to reveal the two men who had the means to set them both free.  


\-----------------------------  


Some while later Jim drove Blair back to the loft, both silently contemplating what had transpired during the interview at the S and G Hospital, and trying to come to terms with what it meant to each of them.  


\-----------------------------  


When Director Dennison stood back to show William Ellison in to the office, Jim raised his eyes to meet his father’s gaze, holding the other man’s direct look for long moments, and reluctantly admiring the older man’s steadiness and refusal to back down first. Finally nodding in grudging approval, Jim said, “Hello, Dad. I wish I could say it’s good to see you again, but you know I’d be lying. But I am willing to hear what you both have to say, for Blair’s sake if not my own.” 

Keeping his hand on Jim’s knee for his own benefit as much as to ground the Sentinel, Blair murmured, “Um, hello, Mr Ellison. Er...it’s been a while...” and he tailed off uncertainly, grateful when Jim covered his hand with a warm one of his own. 

“Jimmy, Mr Sandburg. I appreciate your seeing me, even though I know you’d rather have root canal work than approach me under normal circumstances,” William replied with a sardonic smirk. 

“I can understand that, but I also need to reiterate that I have no regrets for what I did, only insofar as it served to alienate us even further, son. For what it’s worth, I was only too pleased to help fund the Hospital’s drug development programme because I wanted to give you a chance to take your time in finding a suitable Guide, Jimmy. And Mr Sandburg can go back to whatever he was doing,” he added dismissively. 

Growling with rising irritation despite his good intentions, Jim snarled, “For your information, _Dad,_ Blair has just finished his dissertation. Within a few days he defends it, and then he’ll be a Doctor of Anthropology. Not so shabby, huh? Especially if he gets tenure at Rainier!” and he turned to smile gently at his companion, noting Blair’s delightful pink-faced reaction to his words. 

“Hey, babe, I’m only telling it like it is,” he murmured quietly, and was relieved when Blair looked up to meet his gaze with a pleased and appreciative expression. 

William harrumphed uncomfortably, but was rescued from having to make any further comment by Director Dennison, who judged it politic to enter the conversation. 

“Congratulations, Guide Sandburg! I understand that your dissertation is about Sentinels, am I right?” he said with a smile. 

Quickly ‘reading” the man, and finding him to be entirely genuine in his demeanour, Blair blushed again and replied, “Um, yes, that’s correct, Director Dennison. Basically it covers the integration of Sentinel and Guide teams into closed societies, and the contribution they make for the common good...” only to tail off again at the grimace of boredom that crossed William’s face. 

Shooting a slightly annoyed glance at William, Dennison continued heartily, “Excellent, my boy. And can I say how much I look forward to reading it! We can never have too much information in this Department,” he added tellingly, glad to see the smile return to Blair’s face. 

“Now, I’d like to start the ball rolling by explaining about our new drug regime,” he said. 

“Thanks to the outstanding work of the scientists in our pharmaceutical branch – generously supported by donors such as Mr Ellison here,” he added diplomatically, “we now have a much-improved version of the old temporary dampening and controlling drugs administered to Sentinels and Guides in distress. Of course, all empathic and sensory capability would be conspicuously diminished, but prolonged use of the new drug regimen would still allow better than average performance. 

“All the trials and testing indicate that, not only does the new version actually work better with less side-effects, but we believe it can be used virtually indefinitely. At the very least, we’re looking at five years’ minimum efficacy. And we would like to offer you two the opportunity to be the first to try it out.” And he sat back with a smile, inviting them to respond. 

Glancing nervously at Jim, Blair was first to speak, saying, “How is the drug administered, Director Dennison? I believe the older version was oral, two or three tablets a day?” 

“That’s correct, Blair – may I call you Blair?” and at the young man’s nod, he continued. 

“This new version is much easier to use, Blair. It consists of a bi-annual injection, so that you don’t have to concern yourself about forgetting to take the correct daily dose. You will simply get a reminder from us near to the time your booster is due, rather like from the dentist for your six-month check-up. A quick half-hour appointment and you’re good to go for another six months!” 

“Um, what if I was out of the country, say on an expedition, and I overran the booster date. What could I do?” Blair asked, unaware of the quick and unhappy look Jim darted in his direction although both William and Dennison caught it. 

“Er, well, you would be able to still take it in tablet form for a while to tide you over, but we wouldn’t recommend it for more than two or three months,” the Director explained. “Does that answer your question?” 

“Yes, thank you, sir,” Blair replied with a slight smile, then sat back to look up at Jim, worried again at the stern but slightly lost look he saw on the bigger man’s face. 

“Are you OK, Big Guy? Is there something wrong?” he asked softly, peering up anxiously into Jim’s eyes. 

Quickly pulling himself together and assuming a nonchalant air, Jim replied, “Nah, Chief. Nothing for you to worry about! Just thinking about the injections is all. Can’t say I ever liked them,” and he chuckled convincingly, patting Blair’s arm amicably. 

“So, you really are OK with this?” enquired Blair softly. “You’re prepared to take the new drug until you can find a more suitable Guide?” and he gazed intently at his Sentinel, surprised to find that he was almost willing the older man to turn it down and tell Blair he wanted them to stay together. 

However, Jim was having none of it, and he grinned down into the beloved face, even though his heart was breaking. 

“Yep, sounds good to me, babe! That’ll leave you free to return to Rainier, then, won’t it? You can go back to being the anthropologist you were meant to be!” 

Blair held his gaze for long moments, trying to determine whether Jim was really telling the truth, but finding that the Sentinel’s mind was still firmly closed to him. Heart-sick, the young Guide was finally convinced that Jim was serious, so he fought down his bitter disappointment and found a cheerful face and attitude from somewhere deep in his repertoire. 

“OK, then, Jim, Director Dennison! Looks like you have two volunteers! Got to say it’ll be good getting back to the U and the anthro department. You know what they say, ‘places to go, people to meet...!’” and he almost convinced himself that his laughter was genuine....  


\----------------------  


**Epilogue:**  


When the two men arrived back at the loft, Blair made a final attempt to reach into Jim’s mind, to no avail. If he had had confidence in the power of the Shaman that he actually was, he could have forced his way in, and probably saved the pair of them a deal of heartache. However, he had no grounds to believe in himself other than the throwaway comment of a gang lord, so that he allowed himself to be repulsed again, taking it as proof that Jim was done with him at least as a Guide. 

“Um, so Jim, do you think that Simon wants us back in MCU today?” he asked, turning to face the stubborn Sentinel. 

“I don’t think so, babe,” replied Jim with deceptive calm. “He knows that we have some decisions to make, and I doubt that he’d expect us back immediately. Why? Have you got plans, kiddo?” 

“Well, I thought I might as well go to Rainier and hand in my diss. While I’m there, I could see if Dean Wilson’s around, and perhaps sound him out about going back next term. He might be able to give me some idea as to when I can do my defence also, but that’s more up to my diss committee.” 

“Sounds like a plan, Chief. I’ll just give Simon a call to give him a heads-up about what happened at the S and G, and then I’ll probably take the opportunity to get a work-out at the gym. I feel the need to work off some energy!” he finished with a grin. 

“Tell you what,” he continued, “How about we order in tonight? I don’t really feel like cooking, and it’s my turn, I think. Let’s just get some Thai and have a couple beers to celebrate the good news, huh?” 

He couldn’t fail to miss the swift flash of pain that crossed Blair’s face at his words, but he hardened his heart again, and ran upstairs to grab his ready-packed gym bag, giving Blair the space to retrieve his copy of the diss and push it into his ancient backpack. 

“I’ll see you soon, then, Big Guy,” the younger man said softly, shoulders slumped in resignation as he picked up his car keys from the basket by the door. “Couple of hours tops, OK?” 

“Yeah, fine, kiddo. No problem!” and Jim waved him off with a distracted air, gut clenching at the despair he could smell tainting Blair’s normally warm and attractive scent.  


\-----------------------  


Working himself hard at the gym, and revelling in the comforting calm he drew from the endless repetitions, Jim determinedly closed his mind to any thoughts of a life without Blair. He was totally convinced that his Guide needed – no, wanted – his freedom, and that the residual discomfort arose purely because Blair was naturally gentle and inclined to put other people’s feelings and needs above his own. Which was precisely why Jim had to do it for him. He had always been a loner at heart, and considered in hindsight that his brief marriage to Carolyn was an aberration. Proof positive that he was never meant to be half of a loving and working partnership. No matter that he had never felt more complete than when he and Blair linked, even though they had never repeated their sexual bond. He was content that he had at least experienced a short period of genuine affection and companionship, and he would survive on the memory of each wonderful day for the rest of his life.  


\--------------------------  


When Blair let himself into the loft a couple of hours later, he was surprised to see Jim sitting quietly in front of a blank TV, apparently staring off into space. Immediately concerned, he hurried forward and placed a warm palm on Jim’s cheek, turning the sad face towards him and saying, “You with me, man? What is it, Jim? You zoning on me?” 

He was more than relieved when Jim smiled at him, saying, “No, Chief. Not zoning. Just thinking. Whatever! How did you get on, then, kiddo?” and although Blair was well aware that Jim was deliberately trying to distract him, he played along, believing that it was what Jim required of him. 

“Um, well, I handed the diss in, and guess what? Eli was there, in the office! Get it? _The_ Eli Stoddard! He’s only the best known of any American anthropologists, man, and the Chair of my dissertation committee to boot! 

“Anyway, he was really nice, man, and he said that he couldn’t see any reason why I couldn’t defend the diss next week. Next week, Jim! It’s almost unheard of to get the chance so soon! And get this! He’s planning on an expedition to Borneo within the next few months, Jim, and he wants me to go with him! Jeez! It’s...it’s like...wow! Eli wants me! Wow!” and he gazed at Jim, face positively glowing with enthusiasm like Jim had never before witnessed in his young Guide. 

In the face of such unbridled happiness, Jim couldn’t help but grin in response, and he pulled Blair down onto his lap to hug him for a moment, savouring the feel of the warm bundle in his arms. 

“That’s fantastic, Chief! I’m so pleased for you! Can I ask how long the expedition will last? It’s only because we’ll need to plan the best time to start your course of injections, babe,” and if he was aware of the slight dampening of Blair’s mood, he gave no indication of it. 

“Um, it’ll probably last around six to eight months, Big Guy, and Eli hopes to leave in about two months’ time after end of the summer term. So I’ll be fine if I start a week or so before we leave, Jim. If that’s OK with you?” 

“Not a problem, babe. It’ll give you a chance to finish up your ongoing cases at the PD, and I’ll maybe start looking for a stand-in, although I don’t think I could find anyone who could measure up to you when it comes to a working partner. But not to worry! I was a pretty damned good detective before, and I’m sure I can manage with the occasional back-up from a PD guide if necessary. I’m pleased for you, babe. No two ways about it! Now, the Thai’s waiting for us, so what say we tuck in?” and Blair had no answer to that.  


\---------------------  


**Six weeks later:**  


Blair stood in the hallway, backpack in his hands as he gazed longingly towards Jim, who was pretending to do the breakfast clear up, and not fooling his roommate at all. 

Blair, now Dr Sandburg, was about to leave for a team briefing with Eli and his other colleagues at Rainier to thrash out the final details of the planned expedition to Borneo. He knew full well that Jim wasn’t as settled as he wanted Blair to believe, but the younger man didn’t have the courage to take him to task about it, frightened to have his worthlessness as a Guide rubbed in his face. But, oh, he so wanted Jim to say the words he longed to hear! He had everything he thought he wanted returned to him in spades, and it wasn’t enough. 

He knew now to the depths of his soul that he wanted Jim. He wanted to be a Guide to the wonderful man who had won his heart despite their inauspicious meeting, and he wanted – needed – Jim to admit it. 

Suddenly the upcoming expedition held no compulsion, no excitement unless Jim was with him, and he stood uncertain and adrift in his emotions as he dithered at the door. 

Realising that Blair was still looking at him, Jim sighed deeply and turned to face the young man who represented the centre of his universe. Dredging up a smile, he said gently, “What’s up, kiddo? Have you forgotten something? Or would you like me to give you a lift?” 

And suddenly Blair knew what he wanted, and what he needed to do. 

If it all blew up in his face, then so be it, but he wasn’t going down without a fight, dammit! 

Dropping his backpack to the floor, he closed the distance between him and his Sentinel and used his most compelling Guide voice to snarl, “Link with me, Jim! Link with me now, Sentinel, and tell me you don’t want me! I need to hear the truth, man, or you’re not getting rid of me! I know what you’ve been doing, and I don’t believe you. You hear me? I _don’t believe you!_ You love me, I know you do. And you know what? I LOVE YOU TOO! Get it? I...LOVE...YOU!” and suddenly his face crumpled and he fell into Jim’s waiting arms, sobbing and shaking with released emotion, and knowing that he would die if Jim denied him now. 

And Jim let him in. Let him see and understand the love Jim had for him, and the reasoning behind his recent actions. And Blair understood. And loved Jim for his misguided unselfishness even as he scolded his Sentinel tearfully for his well-meaning intentions. 

“Oh Jim! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry that you felt you had to ‘fix’ things for me! We were both set up, but I came to love you anyway. I don’t want to go back to an academic career if I can’t have you in my life! You let me get my PhD, even though you didn’t have to, and you’ve been so good to me – so understanding and patient! Please let me stay with you, Jim! Please!” 

“Yes, Blair. Yes, I want you, and yes, I love you too. It was nearly killing me to let you go, but I thought it best. I’m sorry too. Sorry I was wrong, and didn’t give you the chance to convince me otherwise. It’s an Ellison trait - stubbornness to the nth degree – but if you mean it babe, I want you to stay. We can work anything out of we’re together, Chief. Sentinel and Guide, bonded and committed!” 

Snuffling now in heartfelt relief, Blair raised his tearful but radiant face to meet Jim’s loving gaze and said, “Take me, Jim! Please take me! I want you – have done for so long – and I want to belong to you and you only!” 

And easing his beloved armful down on to the couch, Jim complied with a heart so filled with love that he thought he might explode with pleasure. 

In the lazy aftermath of their passionate, sexual bonding, Blair pushed himself up on one elbow and purred contentedly, fixing his equally contented Sentinel and life-long companion with a smouldering gaze as he said, “Not going anyplace unless you’re with me, lover!”. 

And Jim grinned smugly up at him and agreed wholeheartedly.  


**The End.**


End file.
